A Darker Truth
by TwiTeenNaturalDiaries
Summary: What do you do when you've been through so much it's impossible to be you again? When there's so many memories filled with pain? When your dreams are haunted and keep you up at night? How do you look the most important people in your life in the eyes?
1. Chapter 1

[Type text]

**Broken**

**Ch. 1. See It Turn Red Song: Vesper's Good-bye**

**(No Rest for the Wicked)**

**6 Months Ago**:

Anastasia walked quietly down the alley, thinking _'for Dean'_ her brother Dean, was in trouble again, and she felt the need to help. Maybe I should start with my name, I'm Anastasia Leelawati Winchester, yes Winchester, Sam and Dean are my brother's and this is how my life turned from a freaky to full on weird and gruesome, now first I should start with why I'm doing this, well, here it is. Dean after all, this was the brother who helped her during her vulnerable times. Sammy who could forget him this was what she should've done instead of Dean. They helped me when I learned how mom died, and through high school (mostly Dean, Sam was too angsty). Sam left to Stanford right after graduation like the next day, Sam was Asia's twin, and Dean was the older one. Asia's dad was never really around in her childhood, she loved him, but he was different when it came to family over hunting. John Winchester was a real respected man out in the hunting world, he passed away a year ago, he sold his soul to the yellow eyed demon, or Azazel.

John or dad sold his soul because Dean was dying; this is the demon that killed mom, Jess-Sam's girlfriend- and almost all of the remaining Winchester's, then the whole Sam getting kidnapped and dying. Dean did the same thing he hated that dad did, he sold his soul. Dean thinks he can't be without us; truth is we need _**him**_ to live. So, that's why I'm here today. I've been working with a demon, - _I know, I know, that's stupid_ , but I'm desperate and Adriel hadn't led me astray before. Besides it was my turn to care for my brother, and I was going to be there for him. Neither Sam, nor Dean would know until it was too late.

_I loved hunting when I killed the bad guys and saved lives this was what I was born to do, it was in my blood_.

"_**All of you,**_

_** Shape me into what I am"**_

The alley was creepy this late at night. A hunter would be extra cautious, _luckily Adriel had given me the address and information on this part of the town_ of course he told me this after I forced salt down his throat. I knew where Lilith was, I turned the corner and went right and slipped through a crack and approached a door where I knocked and two black eyes stared at me in disbelief, and assessment "Winchester?" I nodded_. 'This is it'_ I thought. A smirk appeared upon his lips he has a large man's vessel, bigger than me by at least a foot. He said "come in, I'm sure someone would love to see you." I did and they walked in me trailing behind him and we went through rooms, demons wandering around then we went through double doors and I saw Lilith inside a little girl talking to others. She dismissed them and turned to me "Anastasia Winchester, never thought you'd come see me," I stood tall and firm, Dean's hard look on my face, _he had taught Sam and I a lot without meaning to. _

"I want Dean out" my voice oozing confidence, but polite "oh, and how is that going to happen?" Her voice mocking, I walked over some and said "see I happen to know that here's a bounty on my head, and not my brother's, to bring me dead or alive and that you want me down there. Am I right?" Lilith, narrowed her eyes, I knew that that was confidential information, it was top secret. Lilith retorted "the deal can't be broken"- I said "yes, it can by the one who holds the contracts and ding-ding-ding that's you. Besides my brother Dean, for me, you'll never get a better offer, and this deal can't be broken." She thought over it for a moment "….ok, fine." She replied "I just have a few conditions, no one must know, no demons this is top secret." She nodded "Dean is to experience everything, as if he was truly dying and you have to take me and no one else." Lilith nodded and came to me, _this is_ _sick_- I crouched down and kissed her quick on the mouth. Lilith said "six months is what you have left." I nodded and left down the hall.

**Now:**

_30 more hours, and I was puppy food_. I sat in the chair reading about hellhounds. I hadn't slept because of the hellhound nightmares, and sometimes I would hallucinate. I saw Dean thrashing in his sleep, and woke him, as Sam walks in "dig up anything good?" Dean shakes his head as Sam turns to me, I shake my head to "no, nothing good" Dean answers for us. Sam grins "well, Bobby has, finally." I tense Dean says "yeah?" Sam says "yeah, a way to find Lilith." Dean responds "oh, with just uh, 30 hours to go, hey why don't we just make a T-J run yeah? You know some senoritas, cervezas uh-we could…what's Spanish for donkey show?" I scoffed and rolled my eyes, _typical Dean _I thought and rolled my eyes while Sam snickers. Sam says "so if we do save you…let's never do that." I laugh as Dean and Sam get serious. Dean says "yeah," and Sam says "hey, Dean were cutting it close I know"- I cut him off "but we'll stop this for once and all. I don't care what it takes; you're not going to hell. We won't let you. I swear"- Sam cuts in "everything's gonna be okay." I see Dean get a frightened look for a split second and know he was hallucinating.

"Yeah, okay" Dean finally says and with that Sam leads us out to the kitchen with Bobby who has some sort of tracking contraption he explains to us. He starts the ritual and finally it stops on "New Harmony, Indiana. And we have a winner" Bobby informs us. Sam stands up and says "alright, let's go." As we get up Dean says "wo-wo-wo-woah hold on, let's all shut up there Tex." Sam asks "what's the problem?" Dean incredulously repeats "what's the problem? Where do I begin? I mean, first of all, we don't even know if Lilith holds my deal. We're going off of Bela's Intel. Now when that bitch breathes the air comes out crooked. Okay? Second, even if we could get to Lilith we have no way to gank her and third isn't this the same Lilith that wants your giant head on a pike should I continue?"

Bobby retorts "ain't you bringing down the room." Dean answers "yeah, well it's a gift" I felt bad that known of this could help _but I couldn't let them know, not yet_. Sam replies "I'm sorry but what are we supposed to do Dean?" Dean says "just cause I'm dying doesn't mean you-"he points at Sam and then to me "or you have to, okay. Either we go in smart or we don't go in at all." Sam says "okay fine. If that's the case I have the answer." I purse my lips as I tersely ask "you do?" Sam nods at me and answers "yeah. A surefire way to way to confirm it's Lilith and a way to get us a bona fide demon-killing ginsu," it clicks in my brain who he was talking about as I clench my jaw and Dean says "damn it Sam, no" Dean walks some steps and passes Sam and I "were so passed arguing, Dean I am summoning Ruby" Sam states, I glower at the ground knowing _I wasn't gonna die in peace, nope not with them around_. _Adriel had warned me about Ruby the bitch. He said she couldn't be trusted not that I follow him word by word, but usually when he warned it wasn't without reason. The bitch had crawled her way out of hell when the devil's gates had opened. _

Dean turns to face Sam "the hell you are! We have enough problems as it is." I wanted to side with Dean, but I still wanted to remain Switzerland. Sam states "exactly, and we've got no time and no choice either." Dean replies "come on man, she is the miss universe of lying skanks okay? She told you she could save me huh-lie. She seems to know everything about Lilith but forgot to mention oh right Lilith owns my soul!" Sam states "okay fine, she's a liar she's still got a knife." I finally decide to intervene as Bobby did too. We both say at the same time "Dean," he doesn't listen and says for all we know she works for Lilith." Sam says "then give me another option Dean. I mean tell me what else," I could hear his voice a breath away from sounding hopeless. This just makes me feel even worse. Bobby says "Sam's right." Dean exclaims "no! Damn it" The intensity making us all look at him shock he calms down and says "just no we are not gonna make the same mistakes all over again. You guys want to save me…find something else_," if he only knew. _ I walked away as Bobby does too. I knew Sam would still summon Ruby so I headed to the basement where I found Dean and I sneaked up behind him, Sam wasn't here yet probably getting all the ingredients for the summoning, I whisper "boo" and he falls off the ladder he was on. I burst out laughing and he gets up glaring at me and says "funny" his voice full of sarcasm. I nod. He rolls his eyes and asks "what are you doing down here?" I snort "I may not know how a man's mind works, but I know how yours and Sam's minds works" we hear Sam's footsteps and hide.

Soon enough Sam comes in and Ruby appears, she basically manipulates him and Dean and I cut in when she says "look call me a bitch, hate me all you want, but I have never lied to you Sam. Not ever, and I'm telling you. You…can save your brother, and I can show you how." I move away from my hiding spot and move up as I say "so that's you, huh, the slutty little Yoda." Ruby looks at me and behind me where Dean is and says "Dean. Anastasia," she glares at me and says "charming as ever" I glare back. We walk over to them Dean says "aw we knew you'd show up, because we knew Sam wouldn't listen." Sam gaze drifts. Dean continues "but you're not gonna teach him anything, you understand me? Over my dead body" My glare turns ice cold as she says "oh well, your right about that" now I tolerated Dean taking cracks at himself but from someone else? Especially her, this bitch is dead. My voice took on a dangerous note "what your gonna do is give me that knife and then you can crawl back to whatever dump you came from and never bother us again. Are we clear?" Now I understood when people say I take after Dean when I hunt. Ruby states "your brother is carrying a bomb inside of him and we'd be stupid not to use it." Sam interrupts "Dean. Asia look, just hold on for one"- I yell angrily "come on, Sam! Don't!" Dean says "come on man, what are you blind can't you see this is a trick?" Ruby inserts "that's not true" I glower at her and grit my teeth as I ball up my fists. I wanted to hit her so bad. Dean says "she wants you to turn into this whole demonic psychic whatever. Okay, I mean hell she probably wants you to become her little anti-Christ superstar." Ruby angrily says "I want Lilith dead. That's all." I ask "why?" She says "I've told you why" Dean says "oh, right yeah. Because you were human once and you liked kittens and long walks on the beach" she states "you know I am so sick of proving myself to you. You wanna save yourself this is how you dumb, spineless dick." Everything happened so fast. My blood boiled, adrenaline flowing, heart pounded, and anger was the strongest emotion blocking out any other emotions. I swing my fist so fast all you see is Ruby's head snap to the side. There's a second of tense silence and she hits me twice and Sam yells "Ruby, hey!" she then punches him making him double over and kicks him into a beam. I hit Ruby twice in the face after she hit Dean and sent him into the stairs. I knee her in the stomach as she punches me and kicks me in the face sending me crashing to the floor. I weakly try to get up but she kicks me, I roll over and once again try to get up but she head butts me and I fall back. I grin as I realize where she stands as I finally got up successfully. "The hell are you grinning at?" Dean who stood leaning on the stairs asks "missing something?" I pull out her magic knife. She says "I'll kill you- you son of a bitch." She runs at me but gets stuck, trapped. We both look up and see the Devil's Trap Dean drew on the ceiling. Sam looks surprised as he walks over and Ruby pissed off. To piss her off more I say "like he said we knew you'd come." I help Dean up the stairs Sam following us, Ruby yelling at us but I just flip her off.

We were checking and cleaning our weapons, Sam had his infamous bitch face on as he asks "were just gonna let Ruby rot down there?" I respond "that's the plan, yeah." Sam says "what if…what if Ruby's right? What if I can take on Lilith?" I decided to be quiet, being Switzerland, even if I agree with Dean, though I guess that was cause I knew he was safe, if not I would be on Sam's side fighting Dean tooth and nail. They'd hate me enough when all this went down.

Dean looks angry and Sam says "quit looking at me like that." Dean argues "what are you gonna give her the Carrie stare and Lilith goes poof?" Sam answers "I don't know what Ruby meant. You know maybe we should ask her" I pull the clip out of the gun and replace it, trying to avoid a fight. Dean says "Sam we got you the knife, you wanted it." Sam replies "just listen to me. Last time Lilith snapped her fingers and put 30 demons on our ass, and all we got is one knife? I mean like you said we go in smart or we don't go in at all." I finally said "well this ain't smart" Sam says "we got one shot at this guys, Just one, so if there's a surefire way then maybe we should just talk about it." Dean says "Sam we are not gonna make the same mistakes again." Sam asks "you keep saying that but what does it really mean?" Dean replies "don't you see a pattern here? Dad's deal, my deal now this? I mean every time one of us is begging to sell our soul. That's all this is man. Ruby's just jerkin up our chain. Down the road, you know what its' paved with and you know where it's going."

I look back at the gun in my hand and am horrified when I see it covered in bugs, _oh my god_…_wait_….but I remember I'm hallucinating things so I take a breath and put it down. Sam says "Dean. What do you think is going to happen? This is me, I can handle it" I silently scoff. _Yeah right, no one can handle a part of you that you can't understand._ _Especially with a manipulative demon bitch, like Ruby helping I find that hard to believe._ Dean's having the same thoughts and shakes his head as Sam continues "and if it'll save you"- Dean interrupts "why even risk it?" I look at him in shock as Sam replies "because you're our brother, because you did the same thing for me." Dean scoffs "I know look how that turned out." I look at them and see them avoiding each other's gaze. Dean says "all I'm saying…Sammy all I'm saying is that you and Asia are my weak spots." We look at him, Dean smiles and says "you are. I'm yours too." Sam says "you don't mean that, were…we're family." What Dean says next fills my throat with emotion and my heart contract because of the truth behind it "I know. And those evil sons of bitches know that too. I mean what we'll do for each other, you know how far will go? They're using it against us" Sam asks "so what? We just stop looking out for each other?" My eyes water at this but I hold my tears in, some might think Dean was the strongest, but he's shed more tears these past 2 years then I have in my whole life. The last time I cried I was 7 Sam and I learned truly how my mom died and about the things that go bump in the night. I remember that clearly, _I cried for mom, anger at dad, Dean losing mom, Sammy how unfair for him, the innocent people who had no clue about them, and I cried for my loss of innocence and the type of life I was forced into, but looking back I don't really hate dad although for a big portion of my life I did until it lessened to a grudge and now I feel guilty for ever feeling anything but love towards him. _

This moment broke my heart, for what I had done 6 months ago. Dean responds to Sam "no we stop being martyrs, man, we-we stop spreading it for these demons" my heart swells with guilt and I almost want to bawl my eyes out. Dean smiles, stands up and says "yeah. We take this knife, and we go after Lilith our way. The way dad taught us too. And if we go down, then we go down swinging." We all look at each other, in silence for a while. I look down when the guilt is too much, and I can't look them in the eyes. "What do you think?" Dean asks. I wait a beat and say "I think you totally should have been jamming 'Eye of the Tiger' right there." A small is smile on my face, while Sam is grinning. Dean says "oh, bite me. I totally rehearsed that speech, too." Sam asks "Indiana, huh?" Dean answers "yeah, where Lilith is on shore-leave" Sam replies "I guess." We all stand up and Dean asks "tell me something, what the hell does a demon do for fun?" I laugh as I follow Sam out. Sam suddenly says "can I get some help with bag's Asia?" Dean looks at me as if to say _'you good?' _ I nod and shake my head as if to say _'yep. I'll see what's up.' _ I follow Sam inside. As were out of Dean's hearing I say "what's on your mind Sammy?" He responds "you've been quiet; more than usual…do you want to talk?" I look at Sam, and say "Sam I'm fine. We'll save him." My voice was confident;_ truth is he's already saved_. Sam gives me a look and says "I know but if"- I say "I'll be fine." My voice took on a replica of Dean's when he wants to end a conversation. He shakes his head and knows how incredibly stubborn I am and how I hate chick flick moments.

We're quiet as we take their duffel bags out and stuff them into the Impala. Dean walks over to us and asks "you guys fine?" I nod and say "perfectly" as they both get in. I turn around and head to my dark blue 1967 Mustang, dad bought me her for my 16th birthday and it had memories just like the Impala. For example, when we had that scarecrow case, Sam left to find dad in California, I gave him my keys to her. When it was just Dean and I (Sam was at Stanford) dad would take the Impala so Dean and I rode in mine. Until recently when Sam gets fed up with Dean he switches to my car.

As I rev my Mustang I see that the Impala isn't moving and that Bobby is standing outside the driver's side window. "Where do you think you're going?" Bobby asks as I walk closer and the boys get out, in our defense say "we got the knife." Bobby asks "you intend to use it without me?" While talking to Dean a while ago I had tried to convince him to take Bobby, because if I was in his shoes I wouldn't like being left. I don't think the boys realize we do tend to take advantage of him. Sam and I stand in the middle; Bobby asks "do I look like a ditchable prom date to you?" Sam immediately responds, no Bobby. Of course not," I say "no way." Dean on the other hand responds "this is about me…Sam and Asia, okay? This isn't your fight" Bobby walks up to Dean "the hell it isn't?"

We all look at him, I silently recite with him what Bobby always tells me so that I open up to him "family don't end with blood. Boy, besides you need me."

"Bobby"- Dean protests, "you're playing wounded. Tell me how many hallucinations have you had so far?" _As much as me_ I think silently. Sam's confused; Dean asks "how'd you know?" Bobby answers "because that's what happens when you've got hellhounds on your butt. And because I'm smart." He hands Dean the part of the Impala -that had caused them to stop-back. Bobby says, "I'll follow" Usually I would've rode with Sam and Dean or I would have rode with Bobby but I couldn't not today, I was scared, so scared that I thought I might just blurt out about my deal. I couldn't do that, not now. As we walk to our separate cars Bobby says "don't be stopping to pee every ten minutes either," I laugh, as Dean raises his eyebrows and Sam sighs.

We're driving down the highway Dean leading Bobby follows and I took the rear. I had my music blasting, Aerosmith, Green Day, Linkin Park, Maroon 5, One Republic, ACDC, Nickelback, Evanescence, and more, playing my favorite songs before the inevitable. I see Dean, get pulled over and killing the cop, I park my car, and run over to where Bobby stood "what the hell happened?" Bobby asks. I look at the cop and see he had a regular human face except for flashes that kept going through his face, between human and demon, I immediately knew what happened. Sam answers "Dean just killed a demon. How'd you know?" As I look down, Dean says "I just knew. I could see its real face under that one." I looked at the dead cop and felt a shiver go down my spine, and not in a good way._ If we encountered one a couple miles away from Lilith how many were there going to be at Lilith's?_

We hurriedly hide the police car in the woods; we had all been quiet with our thoughts to ourselves. Sam finally asks "so what, now you're seeing demons?" Dean answers, "I've seen all kinds of things but...nothing like this." I stay quiet as this discussion took place. I was experiencing the same thing, but they didn't need to know that. Bobby interjects "actually it's not all that crazy," I arch an eyebrow at him waiting for the explanation. Dean asks "how is it not that crazy." Bobby answers "well, you've got over 5 hours to go. You're piercing the veil, Dean. You're glimpsing the B side." Dean asks "a little less new agey please." I was anxious, with this new piece of information. A week ago I was calm and accepted it, now I was growing nervous, I was about to die in 5 hours.

I look at Dean as Bobby says "your almost hell's bitch. So you can see hell's other bitches." Dean mockingly says "thank you," Sammy says "well actually it could come in handy" Dean says "I'm glad my doomed soul is good for something." I cringe. Bobby says "damn right it is. Lilith's probably got demons stashed all over town; we can't let them sound the alarm. She knows we're he we're dead before we're stated." Dean replies "well this is a terrific plan. I'm excited to be a part of it. Can we go, please?" _I second that motion. _I stiffly get in my car, _5 more hours to go, 5 more hours to face a hellhound, to face my brothers, to face my decisions_. I follow in my car silently rocking to 'Highway to Hell' thinking _I'm almost hell's bitch. _

We watch Lilith kill an older man, a different little girl than she had been in 6 months ago. As she turns I see her face turn demonic, Dean says "it's the little girl. Her face is awful" Sam says "alright then, let's go. We're wasting time." Dean says "wait." Sam replies "for what? For it to kill the rest of them?" Dean replies "and us too if we're not careful. Look, see the real go-getter mailman"- I look at the mailman and see the demonic face, "on the clock at 9 P.M. and Mr. Rogers over there" I turn to see the neighbor; yup he's a demon too. Bobby asks "demons?" Dean replies "then what? Give a Columbian neck tie to a 10 year old girl, come on!" Sam replies "look Dean I know it's awful," Dean replies "you think?" I finally intervene, I mean I didn't want to go near Lilith but I couldn't let more people die, I say "this isn't just about saving you, Dean. It's about saving everybody." Bobby backs me up and says "she's gotta be stopped son," Dean turns to the window "oh, damn it" we see Lilith alone with her mom.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^SPN^^^^^^^^^^^^

After we form a plan I wait with Sam. Dean runs with the demon on his tail, as I give him a punch as he's distracted Sam kills him. Next we do the same with Mr. Rogers and he hides the bodies. As Dean climbs a fence to lure someone out Ruby appears and grabs Dean as she says "I'd like my knife back, please or your neck snaps like a chicken bone." Sam and I come out; Sam holds the knife up to her throat "he doesn't have it. Take it easy," she backs off and I ask-not really interested- "how the hell did you get out?" Ruby says "what you don't know about me could fill a book."

Dean looks taken aback "whoa," _now we all know Dean has no filter in his mouth. I wanted to tell her she was an ugly bitch but hey I didn't think now was the time to call her out on it. _Ruby asks "what?" Dean says "nothing just I couldn't see you before, but you're one ugly broad." Ruby turns to Sam "Sam give me the knife before you hurt yourself." I reply "you'll get it when this is over." Ruby glares at me, it's already over" she turned to Sam "I gave you a way to save Dean, you shot me down. Now it's too late. He's dead. And I'm not gonna let you die too." Sam replies "try and stop me, and I'll kill you. Bitch" Ruby replies "hit me with your best shot baby." Dean says "guys, guys! Have your cat fight later."

We turn to see demons had caught us Dean says "so much for element of surprise." I say "go, go!" Sam says "Run. Run!" We run on to Lilith's doorstep and Sam picks the lock, about 30 or so demons are running towards us. "What the hell's taking Bobby?" Sam is still picking the lock "I'm trying." Soon enough the sprinklers come on just before they reach us. I mutter "too close Bobby," we run into the house and see a dead body Dean asks "you think Lilith knows we're here?" Ruby responds "probably." _She was acting weird by now she would have said something to antagonize Dean._ I looked at her and shake my head, _now is not the time to start something with her._

We walk into the living room armed, Mr. Fremont comes out and Dean calms him and says "we're here to help, okay? I'm gonna move my hand, and we're gonna talk nice and quiet, okay?" Mr. Fremont nods. I ask coolly and soothingly "sir, where is your daughter?" He says "it's not…it's not her anymore." Sam asks "where is she?" He answers "upstairs in her bedroom." Dean says "okay, okay, Okay55. Listen to me; I want you to go downstairs to the basement. Put a line of salt behind you. Do you understand me?" He says "not without my wife." _Any other time I would have 'awed,' but definitely not now_. I say "yes, without your wife." He says "no," Dean knocks him out with a punch, Dean picks him up as I follow him and Sam and Ruby head on upstairs. We're silent as we put him in the basement and put a salt line at the door, and window. We creep upstairs and into a room where Sam is about to stab a non-Lilith-possessed-girl. I run in with Dean and I grab Sam's arm, as Dean does and he yells "it's not her!" Ruby walks in, "it's not in her anymore."

We all hurry downstairs with the clock ticking; Dean says "no matter what you hear, you, your husband, and daughter stay in your basement." They walk into the basement and we walk into the living room, Ruby says "well I hate to be an 'I told you so.'"

_I start to freak, we only had 10 minutes left and I guess __**I wasn't ready to die**_. I ask "alright Ruby where is she?" She responds "I don't know." Sam asks "could she get past the sprinklers?" Ruby says "her pay grade. She ain't sweating the holy water." Sam says "okay, you win, what do I have to do?" Ruby just looks at him acting coy "what do you mean?" I tell you she is acting weird, something's off with her. Sam clarifies "to save Dean," her eyes jump to Dean, and then me. My heart jumps to my throat, _she can't know can she? _ Dean and I walk up to Sam; Sam asks her "what do you need me to do?" Dean grabs him, "what the hell do you think you're doing?" Sam tells Dean "just shut up for one second" he turns to Ruby "Ruby!" Ruby says "you had your choice. You can't just flip a switch. We needed time," Sam says "well, there's gotta be something. There's gotta be some way, whatever it is I'll do it," Dean grabs him, Sam says "don't Dean. I'm not gonna let you go to hell! Dean!" Dean exclaims "yes you are!"

All three of us look at each other; Dean says "you both are." Sam and I stare at him; Dean says "I'm sorry. I mean this is all my fault, I know that. It's not gonna save me. It's only gonna kill you." The guilt in me is rising_, here Dean's saying not to save him and I'm agreeing but I already did. _My eyes water as do Sam's I hold back my tears, Sam looks away and asks "then, what are we supposed to do?" Dean says "keep fighting. Take care of my wheels, Sam. Asia make sure he does, take care of each other. Both of you remember what dad taught you...okay?" We nod, as my guilt level increases; _this feels too real, like if Dean was actually going to hell._

Dean continues "and remember what I taught you." As Dean tears up, the grandfather clock is about to strike midnight. Here we go, Dean turns to us Sam has tears down his face, Dean is holding his own back. Ruby suddenly interjects "I'm sorry Dean. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy." I glare at her, my anger and guilt needing to be taken on someone else. Dean and I hear the hellhounds first and we look at Sam, it comes in and Dean says "hellhound," Sam asks "where?" Dean points to the hellhound which was in front of me and says "there," it growls. It's about to pounce so they all run after me. We all hold the door as Dean lines it with goofer dust.

"Give me the knife, maybe I can fight it off." _Ruby wants to help? No way something, I was missing something, but what? _I had never been this guilty or angry, I don't even know why I was so angry but it fills me, till I feel something in me break and I couldn't control it. Sam incredulously asks "what?" Ruby says "come on! That dust won't last forever." Sam takes out the knife and is about to give it to her when it finally clicks in my brain, and this revelation is too much, the anger and guilt were too strong, Dean and I yell "wait!" Ruby says "you wanna die?" I yell "that's not Ruby!"

Then _I felt my senses overflowing_, I raise my hand and a light blue stream of light comes out, shocking me, and hits Ruby and sends her flying. She gets up quickly, Sam, Dean and I in shock, she pins Dean and Sam against the wall, Sam drops the knife. She flings me to the top of a table, and pins me there I try to fight it off, but it's too strong. I ask "how long have you been in her?" Her eyes turn white and her face childlike "not long," she looks at herself "but I like it. It's all grown up and pretty. That hurt too. You Winchester's full of surprises." Sam asks "where's Ruby?"

Lilith says "she was a very bad girl so I sent her far, far away." Dean says "you know I should have seen it before…but you all look alike to me." She ignores him and turns to Sam "hello Sam. I've wanted to meet you for a very long time." She gives him a forced kiss. Lilith says "your lips are soft." Sam says "right, so you have me, let them go." He looks at her. "Silly goose. You wanna bargain you have to have something I want. But your sister…" She looks at me; she looks me in the eyes. "oh, your sister hasn't said anything has she? And here I thought she would've by now." I yell "shut up!"

_I didn't want to be on Earth knowing they knew I wanted to be dead by then, so it wouldn't haunt me_. Dean asks "what the hell are you talking about?" Lilith answers "you Winchester's are martyrs, rally. Your sister tracked me down 6 months ago, and we chatted. Oh, she couldn't live without you Dean." I felt Dean, and Sam stare at me. The un vocalized question in the air. Lilith answers "yes, she made a deal. She was heartbreakingly selfless" I finally grow a pair and ask "so, is this your big plan, huh? Drag me to hell, kill Sam and Dean And then what? Become queen bitch?" Lilith says "I don't have to answer to puppy chow." I move against her hold with no success. She walks to the door, we lock eyes as she grabs the door handle both Dean and Sam look at me, without looking at them I say "I love you douchebags," Lilith exclaims "sick 'er boy!" The hellhound enters and stares at me. I let the first tear fall, and wipe it away, I made this decision so I'll bear with it and I've accepted it.

As the hellhound drags me to the ground, I scream "I'm sorry!" I take one last look at them, as the hellhound rips into my leg_. It's powerful jaw and claws ripping me open_.

"_**See it turning red like a bullet through the chest**_

_**Lay me down to rest" **_

I scream. I hear Sam and Dean yell at her, Lilith only continues watching. The hellhound slashes my chest open and I turn around to crawl but it rips and tears into my back. _I could hear a terrorized scream and realized they were __**mine**_. I hear more yelling I try to fight, but I'm fading fast. I turn back over with all my strength. Finally, it stops my face is still and I'm numb, I knew then that I was a few breaths away from my death.

"_**Somewhere I let all my defenses down,**_

_**Never thought to turn around**_

_**And u did not make a sound" **_

I can only hear echoing voices, Dean yelling about bitches and Sam crying. _I couldn't let Lilith kill them_ not after all of this. I had to move, but I can't. I think of _mom, dad, Bobby, Ellen, Ash, Ian. My last few moments are of protecting my brothers and a slideshow of our favorite moments._ The energy leaves me and I see a bright white light and light blue, then my _world is over as empty darkness surrounds me._

"_**And I found out **_

_**Nothing comes without a cost **_

_**And life was just a game we lost**_

_**Do you have a better thought?"**_

3rd P.O.V:

Sam and Dean stand up after the blasts, from where they had been. Lilith looks afraid and yells "back," as they approach her, they keep walking "I said back" Dean picks up the knife quick and lunges but she opens her mouth and the demon escapes. Dean and Sam run and kneel beside their sister, her eyes open but unseeing. Dean leans over her and pulls her to his lap, and Dean stokes her hair and face like he used to when they younger, he coos to her "it's okay, Asia, it's…okay, just a scratch. Sammy and me'll patch you up sweetheart. You'll be up and walking in no time. Huh, baby? Everything's okay. I promise. Asia? Lee!" Dean gently shakes her and stops and cries into her mass of hair. Dean's in a state of denial. Sam sits beside his brother and holds her hand and strokes her back, he goes back in his mind to the conversation they had earlier, and realizes why she had spoken the way she did, "no…Lee…no." Dean is still cooing in her hair, both thinking 'why her? Why the Winchester's baby?'

"_**Now you're gone **_

_**Nothing's ever felt so wrong**_

_**A moment seems to last so long**_

_**Do you have a fear so strong?"**_

Meanwhile In Hell:

We see tons of torture chains, green mist, and Asia hooked up with chains by her arms, and legs. She yells, "Help! Someone! Anybody! Help me!" Hooks are piercing her everywhere "Dean! Sammy! Da-a-a-a-a-d!"

* * *

**In The Event Of My Demise**

"In the event of my Demise

When my heart can beat no more

I Hope I Die For A Principle

or A Belief that I had Lived 4

I will die Before My Time

Because I feel the shadow's

Depth

so much I wanted 2 accomplish

before I reached my Death

I have come to grips with the possibility

And wiped the last tear from My

eyes

I Loved All who were Positive

In the event of my Demise"

By: Tupac Shakur


	2. Chapter 2

Broken

Ch.2 To Hell and Back Again Elegion-Scars

(Lazarus Rising)

ASIA P.O.V

What the hell? I awoke in the dark and in a coffin. Oh no! This has always been my biggest fear. I start to hyperventilate. I count backwards from 10 and take deep breaths. After I calm down I yell "Help! Help!" But immediately stop, my voice was scratchy and rough like I hadn't talked in years or was a real bad smoker. I cough and scenes from hell play for one second until I pushed them to the back of my brain and focus on getting out. I pound on the wood until it breaks and dirt comes in, I hold my breath and do the painful task of digging myself out of my grave. My hand is the first thing to break surface and reach fresh air. I grab onto stable grass and dirt and haul myself out panting. I held my breath for 2 whole minutes, not easy. I stand up and see a cross with sticks as my headstone and a perfect circle of dead trees. Again, what the hell?

I walked out of the forest and start walking down a road, until I see a sign 'Welcome to Pontiac, Illinois' I pass it and walk to an abandoned gas station, to make sure no one was there I yell "hello? Is anyone here?" My voice was still hoarse so I take off my long sleeve shirt and roll it onto my fist and break the glass and open the door and walk in. I gulp down a water bottle and eat some Twix bars. I see a newspaper. How long have I been dead? It reads September 18th, I say "September." I died in April. I've been in hell for 6 months. I go use the bathroom and wash my face. That hellhound ripped me up good, why doesn't it hurt? Unless…I pull up my shirt. Nothing, no blood, my bra was intact, not even a scar. I had gotten shot in my side and that's gone too. I check to see if I still had the shot in my shoulder, from the bitch Bella and I am shocked when I find a large handprint burned into my skin and it wraps around my small shoulder.

I pack snacks in my bag with some water, I stopped at the porn wrack, and maybe I should bring some to Dean as a piece offering? No he'll still be mad. I hit the cash register and grab money when the TV flickers on. Uh-oh not a good sign. I turn it off and then the radio comes on and I begin to pour salt on the windows then I hear a voice whispering my name and the name 'Castiel' over and over. I am mesmerized by the sweet, tender, caring voice. Suddenly, I break out of my trance when the windows shatter and I move but more windows break until it's gone. I exit the store and go to the pay phone and dial Dean's phone, it ring's but goes to voicemail, I say "Dean, it's me Asia. I'm alive, I don't know how. I'll be at Bobby's, get there as soon as you can. And Dean…I love you, I miss you and…I'm sorry." I end the message and call Sam but his is disconnected. Then, I call Bobby, it rings once and I hear Bobby's "yeah?" I say "Bobby?" He responds "yeah?" I say "it's me." He remarks "who's me?" I answer "Anastasia." He hangs up. I hang up and try again Bobby answers "who is this?" I say "Bobby listen to me," He responds "this ain't funny. Call again and I'll kill ya." He doesn't believe me, hell I still can't believe myself. I guess there's only one way to do this; I wish I had my baby boy. My car, I wonder, who kept it? I see an old car and I hotwire it and head to Sioux Falls.

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_Should I? Maybe I should just let them be? No, I'm too selfish for that_. I knock on the door, Bobby opens it and I say "surprise, Bobby." Bobby stammers "I, I don't…" I respond "me either. But here I am" I enter, Bobby lunges at me with a silver knife. I grab his arm and twist and block him as he hits me "Bobby! It's me" Bobby retorts "my ass!"

I hide behind a desk chair and say "time out! Whoa, whoa, wait. Your name is Robert Steven Singer. You became a hunter after your wife got possessed and…you are more of a real father to me than my dad ever was. Bobby it's me." Bobby walks over and pats me on my shoulder and lunges at me, I grab the knife "I'm not a shape shifter!" Bobby yells "then you're a revenant!" I push Bobby away and hold out the knife I say "alright. If I was either could I do this-with a silver knife?" I roll up my sleeve and slice my forearm with the knife it doesn't hiss or burn, but it sure does hurt. Bobby asks "Asia?" I sigh in relief and throw the knife on the table and say "that's what I've been trying to tell you." Bobby pulls me into a hug and I hug him back just as tight.

I knew I made the right choice, by coming in. Bobby says "it's good to see you, girl," he let's go and I say "yeah, you too." He asks "but how did you bust out?" I answer "I don't know. I just woke up in a pine box…" Bobby threw holy water in my face. I spit some out "I'm not a demon." He sheepishly says "can't be too careful." We walk into his study, I dry my face off. Bobby says "but, that don't make a lick of sense." I say "yeah, I know." Bobby seriously says "Asia. Your chest was ribbons, your insides slop. And you've been buried for 6 months, even if you could slip out of hell and back into your meat suit"-

I finish "I should look like I belong in Thriller." Bobby asks "what do you remember?" I avoid his eyes and focus on a liquor bottle as I say "not much, I remember the hellhound ripping me apart and the white and blue light and then nothing. I came to when I was 6 feet under" Bobby sits as I continue "Sam's phone isn't working. Dean's isn't on. They're not…" Bobby says "oh their alive. As far as I know." I nod then it hits me the last part I ask "what do you mean?" Bobby says "I haven't spoken to Sam in months. Dean was with Cassie 2 months, they split and he's hunting nonstop, only comes here to check in sometimes. Then when I see Dean he says Sam's fine." I ask "you let them separate?" He answers "they were dead set on it." I say "Bobby why didn't you stop them?" He answers "I tried. These last month's haven't been easy you know. For them or me. We had to bury you."

I couldn't take my anger out on Bobby. I felt really guilty all of the pain I had provoked. I say "you're right, sorry. I didn't mean to take my anger out on you Bobby, you do so much for us already, I know what I did was selfish, I'm sorry"- I clear my throat and ask "so why did you bury me?" Bobby answers "I wanted you salted and burned. Usual drill...they wouldn't have it" I answered "glad they did." Bobby continues "they said you'd need a body when they got you back home somehow. That's all they said." Stupid, sons of-"so...you mean..." Bobby says "Dean's been acting the same, drinks till he drowns and hunts. Sam was quiet, real quiet. And he took off wouldn't return my calls. Dean says he calls him to check on him I tried to find him but he didn't want to be found."

I sigh feeling angry, guilt, sadness, "damn it guys." Bobby asks "what?" I respond "oh, he got me home okay. But whatever he did it was bad." Bobby asks "what makes you so sure?" I answer "the grave site. It was like a bomb went off and then there was this presence. I don't know it surrounded me at a gas station joint, it was a voice I don't know how but it said my name and the name 'Castiel', and then there's this" I lift my shirt off my shoulder and show him the handprint. "What the hell?" Bobby asks alarmed I say "it's like a demon yanked me out or rode me out" Bobby asks "but why?" I ask "maybe hold their end of a bargain?" Bobby asks "you think one of them made a deal?" I respond "it's what I would've done."

Then I ask "when is Dean gonna be here?" Bobby says "I usually leave him a message and he's due today." I grimace he's probably speeding, Bobby asks "what?" I say "I kind of already did." Before he can respond I hear the familiar roar of the Impala and the door closing and feet pounding against the dirt and "Bobby! Bobby! There was a message"- I walk into his view and my throat closes up and my voice is thick as I say "hey Dean." He looks at me, and boy did he let himself go. His face goes into hunter mode, and he asks "what the hell are you?" Bobby steps in "it's her, Dean. I checked." I smile at him and come forward, he hesitates and then lunges at me and I grab his arm and I say "I've already been through this with Bobby, Dean." He answers "you sick son of a bitch! My sister's gone!" He gets out of my hold by shoving me back hard, Bobby grabs him, "Dean, boy! Really it's Asia!" I grab the same knife I cut myself with before, "Dean this is Bobby's silver knife." I cut my other forearm and he stares at the blood, and goes limp in Bobby's arms and asks "Asia?" I grin and throw myself at him as he hugs me. I did miss him, him and Sammy.

I inhale his scent the leather, alcohol, and car aroma. He stutters as he holds me "but-but you…I"- I step back and say "I know." He's tearing up so I say "I'm sorry, so sorry." He yells "damn right! You should be! What the hell were you thinking, Asia?" I quietly look down and say "I couldn't let you die too. First Sammy…I just- I wouldn't have been able to go on, Dean. I'm not as strong as everyone thinks. And I know it was selfish but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't lose you, too. But I'm not sorry for what I did, because I would do it again, in a heartbeat." His face softens as he pulls me into a tender hug. I break it a minute later asking "have you been watching chick flicks again?"

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"Yeah, hi, I have a cellphone account with you guys and I lost my phone, I was wondering if you could turn the GPS on for me. Yeah, name's Asher Antilles. Social is 2474. Thank you" I hang up and nod at Dean who turns to look it up on my laptop. "How'd you know he'd use that name?" I answer "twin instincts." As Dean's looking it up I ask "hey Bobby? What's with the liquor on sale or something?" Bobby answers "like I said, last few months ain't been all that easy." I say "right," as the guilt settles in. We hear a ding, and Dean says "Sam's in Pontiac, Illinois," Bobby says "right where you were planted" Dean says "right where you popped up," I ask rhetorically "hell of a coincidence, don't you think?"

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We walk down the dingy motel hallway and knock on the door, a black haired girl answers-only wearing a tank top and underwear- "so where is it?" She gave me a look, and she made me mad, aggravated and my skin crawl. Dean asks "where's what?" She says "the pizza…that takes 3 people to deliver?" Dean says "I think we got the wrong room." I see Sam come out of a bathroom and say "hey is…"He stops as his eyes land on us or should I say me. He swallows his eyes going to Dean and Bobby and back to me. "Hey Sammy," my voice thick much like with Dean. I walk in with Dean, pushing the girl away slightly. As I get closer Sam pulls a knife out and lunges at me as the girl screams Dean and Bobby grab Sam as he struggles he yells "who are you?" Dean says "Sam. Sammy calm down, chill out for a second." He's actually gonna try to play it off? I yell "like you didn't do this!" Sam yells "do what?" Bobby says "it's her! We've both been through it already, it's really her." He stops struggling; I ask "I know I look fantastic, huh?" Bobby and Dean let him go, Sam's on the verge of tears, as he grabs me and pulls me into a bear hug, where I think I broke some ribs. Dean and Bobby have watery eyes. Sam pulls away and the annoying girl ask "so are you two like…together?" Sam says "what? No. No she's my sister." She stutters as I narrow my eyes, I didn't like her "uh…got it. I…I guess, look I should probably go." Sam replies "yeah, yeah that's probably a good idea. Sorry" Since when was Sammy a one night stand kind of guy?

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Sam leads the girl out, both now changed. He opens the door she says "so, call me." He replies "sure thing, Kathy." She looks crestfallen "Kristy" she corrects him, while I look at Dean with a raised brow, he shrugs. I sigh; Sam nods to 'Kristy' and says "right." She leaves and he closes the door and starts outing on his shoes at the bed. I wasn't sitting on a bed where my brother had sex, most likely so I stood up, and Dean did the same maybe not for the same reason though.

Dean asks "so tell me, what'd it cost?" Sam smirks at us "the girl? I don't pay Dean." I cut in "cute, Sam. To bring me back? What'd it cost? Was it just your soul or something worse?" Sam asks "you think I made a deal?" Dean and Bobby nod and say "that's exactly what we think." Sam says "well, I didn't," Dean says "don't lie to us." Sam replies "I'm not lying." I'm a Winchester for a reason, and my anger alone can prove it. I walk up to Sam and say "so what now? I'm off the hook and you're on, is that it? You're some demon's bitch-boy? I made that deal for a reason!" Sam stands up toe to toe with me towering over my 5'2" with his 6'4" but they both knew I could hold my own. Sam says "look Lee, I wish I had done it, all right?"

I grab him now really angry and sick of his lying ass as I say "there's no other way this could have gone down. Now tell us the friggin' truth!" He pushes my hand away and retorts "I tried everything, that's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell, I tried to bargain, Lee, but no demon would deal alright? You were rotting in hell for months, and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me alright? Lee, I'm sorry." I now believed him, the honesty shining through his eyes. This guy could never lie to me, I knew him like the back of my palm. I say "it's okay, Sammy. You don't have to apologize, I believe you." Bobby says "don't get me wrong I'm gladdened that Sam's soul remains intact, but it does raise a sticky question," Dean finishes "if he didn't pull Asia out, then what did?" I say "well… I need a beer or two."

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Sam gets up and hands us the beer, Dean asks "so what were you doing here if you weren't digging Asia out of her grave?" Sam looks at us then me "well once I figured I couldn't save you, I started hunting down Lilith trying to get some pay back." I saw Dean tense, and I knew he would've wanted in on hunting Lilith, and that our brother was doing without him had to sting. Bobby asks "all by yourself? Who do you think you are your old man? I spot a bra and nudge Dean who sees it and walks over to it, "uh, yeah, I'm sorry Bobby. I should have called you. Dean I should have called you more and kept you updated with what I was doing. I was pretty messed up." Dean holds up the bra and sarcastically says "oh, yeah, I really feel your pain." Sam says "anyway, uh, I was checking these demons out of Tennessee and out of nowhere took a hard left and booked up here."

I ask "when?" He answers "yesterday." I reply "when I busted out. Bobby asks "you think these demons are here cause of you?" Dean asks "but why?" I answer "I don't know. Some badass demon drags me out and now this? It's just got to be connected somehow." Dean asks "how you feelin' anyway?" I think about it and respond "I'm a little hungry," Bobby says "no, he means do you feel like yourself? Anything strange or different?" I ask "or demonic? No. How many times do I have to prove that it's me?" Dean says "yeah, well listen no demon's letting you loose out of the goodness of their hearts. They've got to have something nasty planned."

I say "well, I feel good." Sam says "okay, look we don't know what they're planning. We got a pile of questions and no shovel. We need help." I could contact Adriel, maybe he knows what's up, but of course I didn't say this out loud besides if he heard I was out he'll contact me. It's usually how it works, unless I need urgent help. Bobby says "I know a psychic a few hours from here. Something this big, maybe she's heard the other side talking." Dean replies "hell, yeah. It's worth a shot," I just nod at Bobby. He says "I'll be right back."

I stand up to go the bathroom when Dean says "Lee," and Sam says "hey, wait" at the same time. I turn around to them and Dean reaches down and takes off his neck my-dads-dog tags off. I took them when he passed away, since the Dean had the Impala and dads ring, and Sam had the family photo. I hadn't even notice I didn't have them. I nod and send him a grin that he returns with a shake of his head. Sam reaches down and takes my locket out of his pocket as he says "and this," it was the only thing I had from mom it had only one side since I took out the other and gave it to Sam for Christmas when we were like 8 so I only had one photo where mom was holding me. I say "thanks," I mean they must've cleaned off the blood and guts from them, I thought for sure the hellhound had ripped everything. It's nice to know they kept things to remember me by. Sam replies "don't mention it." As I look down at the picture in my locket and fiddle with it, Sam asks "what was it like?" I tense up, and stop fiddling with it, as I place it on me and look at them both before saying "what, Hell? I don't know I must have blacked out. I don't remember a damn thing." Sam says "well think god for that." I always was the better liar out of the three of us. Dean says "yeah, thank him for me Sammy," I sigh as Sam calls him a jerk, and Dean calls him a bitch. I softly say "whatever, I'm using the bathroom."

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I splash water on my face in the bathroom.

Flashback:

"Anastasia one soul. Come on, I know you really want to, you can get off the rack, you've been holding out for 50 years. Asia do it, no more suffering, just say the words."

"Alistair"– I moan, the knife in deep in my arm socket I couldn't do it, i was too weak for this and with 3 words I seal my fate "yes, I'll do it."

"Please, no!" I watched the soul of the blond women and I couldn't stop it, no remorse was in my mind, all that pain I felt for fifty years came out in a rage, and she was the perfect thing to take it out on. I knew how being on the other side felt, so with a deep breath, I said two words that I knew far too well, and then the screams that tore out of her would haunt me forever.

"I'm sorry"

"Aaaaa-!"

I took a deep breath and looked at my reflection, no longer did I see the girl with the vibrancy in her eyes, and now they looked pained and haunted, like I'd seen too much for my age, which was true. I didn't like it, it was disturbing, and my brothers would notice.

"Every time I see,

My eyes,

In my reflection,

I can't help but be disappointed

At who I am"

I won't ever be the carefree hunter, but I could try to get over this. To be stronger, this was only a shell of what I use to be; I wouldn't let those evil sons of bitches get the pleasure of seeing me crumble and my brothers nor them would see just how broken I was.

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As I leave the bathroom I see everyone outside so I shuffle to the door and as I walk over to them as Bobby says "she's about 4 hours down the interstate. Try to keep up," Bobby gets in his car and Sam says "I assume you want to drive," he tosses me the keys to my 1967 dark blue Mustang. I chuckle "I almost forgot!" I run my hand over the hood and say "hey, baby, miss me? Wait here until I come back, without my brothers." "What the hell?" I see a GPS hooked up by my leather seats. Sam knows how I hate them I grab it and toss it at him as he shrugs sheepishly while I roll my eyes and say "I'm going to ride with you guys since we are gonna come back." I sit in the back and we follow Bobby.

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About when they're around half an hour to the psychic's I remember what I had wanted to ask "there's something bothering me?" Dean answers "yeah?" I say "yeah the night I died, how'd you guys make it out? I remember the light, I thought she was gonna kill you two." Sam says "well, she tried." Dean finishes for Sam "she couldn't." I ask "what do you mean she couldn't?" Sam answers "she fired that burning light it went through and when the light hit Dean it just bounced off of some force field I think. For me it was like I was immune and I saw that it was like Dean was protected." I asked "immune? Protected?" Dean answers "yeah. Don't know who was more surprised us or her. She left pretty fast after that," I ask "what about the other, the blue light?" They exchanged a look and I ask "what?" They look at each other and Dean sighs as he responds "it came from you, Asia. I think it was that light that created the force field or whatever Sam called it, it surrounded us before Lilith hit us with her white blast."

It was silent for 5 minutes; I mean how do you respond to something like that? I change the subject as I ask "hm. What about the bit-Ruby? Where'd she go?" Sam answers "dead for now." Dean bluntly asks "so you've been using your freaky ESP stuff?" Sam responds "no," I can tell he was lying it's pretty easy to tell his shoulders tense and his face scrunches up a bit, like Dean when he lies his voice goes deeper, and usually he tries to make straight eye contact as if to assure you he's being honest. Dean asks "you sure about that?" I continue because I knew Dean wouldn't be too lenient and very blunt so I ask "he means you've got… immunity or something? We were just wondering if you got more stuff going on." Sam looses up his shoulders and responds "nothing Asia. Look you didn't want me going down that road so I didn't." I nod as Dean replies "well let's keep it that way." I slap Dean's head and am satisfied when he says "ouch" and smirk as I sit back and I pull my iPod out and listen to music as Sam broods and Dean drives, the rest of the drive is silent.

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Early the next morning we head over to the psychics the next day, and a black haired, pretty, strong looking woman and she exclaims "Bobby!" when we are on the porch. She grabs Bobby in a hug lifting him up some. Dean, Sam and I share a look. "You're a sight for sore eyes," Bobby tells her. She steps back and analyzes us- and when I say us I mean she checked out Sam and Dean. She asked "so these the guys?" Bobby nods and says "Asia, Sam, Dean this is Pamela Barnes best damn psychic in the state." Dean gets his flirt on and says "hey," Sam and I give awkward "hi"'s.

Pamela looks at me "hm. Anastasia Winchester, out of the fire and back in the frying pan, huh? Makes you a rare individual." I sigh and quietly say "I guess" Pamela smiles and replies "come on in." We walk in as she shuts the door; Bobby asks "so, you hear anything?" Pam replies "well, I Ouija'd my way through a dozen spirits. No one seems to know who broke your girl out or why," damn. _That's comfortable-not_. Bobby asks "so what's next?" She responds "a séance, I think. See if we can see who did the deed." _I didn't know much about psychics but I know enough to know what a séance was intended for_. I ask "you're not gonna summon this…thing here?" She replies "no, I just want to get a sneak peek at it. Like a crystal ball without the crystal."

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Pamela leads us to a room and as we walk Dean says "I'm game." I look around the room as Pam goes to get the things ready. I hear Dean ask "who's Jesse?" I whirl around and see that on the small of Pam's back there was a tattoo reading 'Jesse Forever.' I rolled my eyes and shook my head at Sam and Dean. Pam laughs and says "well, it wasn't forever," Dean flirts with her "his loss." Pam stands up with a box and smirks as she walks by and remarks "might be your gain." I walk over to them as Dean excitedly says "dude I am so in," I smirk and say "she's gonna eat you alive." Dean says "hey, any and every time is good, bring it." Pam walks by us again, winks at Sam and says "you're invited too grumpy." I snicker as she's out of earshot Dean says "you are not invited."

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After the room was setup I sit at Pam's left with Sam to my left Bobby beside him, and Dean on Pam's right, which was beside Bobby. Pam says "right, take each other's hand" we do as she says and I hold Sam's who I grip and he gives mine a reassuring squeeze. Pam continues "and I need to touch something our mystery monster touched," I see her hand go under the table to Dean who jumps and says "well he didn't touch me," I get nervous because _no one had seen the handprint except Bobby_. Pam says "my mistake."

I shift my eyes and take off my plaid shirt revealing my tank top and show her my right shoulder revealing the handprint. Dean and Sam share shocked looks as Bobby looks at me seriously, _he must of figured I would've told them by now_. Pam lays her hand on my shoulder and says "okay." We all close our eyes and she begins to chant "I invoke, conjure, and command you appear unto me before this circle," after the third time the TV flickers on, _just like at the gas station, __**the next thing she says scares the hell out of me.**_

"I invoke, conjure, command…Castiel?" I shoot my eyes open, _what the hell?_ Pam says "no. Sorry, Castiel I don't scare easy." I look at Bobby who looks just as shocked as me. I ask "Castiel?" Pamela answers "its name. It's whispering to me, warning me to turn back." The table begins to shake, as Pam says "I conjure and command you, show me your face." Pam says that four more times and things turn more violent, and Bobby says "maybe we should stop?" All of us had now our eyes open. Pam assures Bobby "I almost got it. I command you show me your face! Show me your face now!" The candles flare and Pam screams as a bright white light fills her eyes and she collapses and the noise stops. Bobby catches her as Dean and I help lower her down. Bobby yells "call 9-1-1!" and Sam leaves dialing. Dean crouches down next to me and we look at her as she moans and groans because of the pain, and she opens her eyes and to my horror they're empty as she says "I can't see! I can't see! Oh, god!"

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After the ambulance took Pam Dean, Sam, and I we came to a diner and we ordered some pie and fries, _the waitress for some odd reason made my skin crawl._ I sat at the end and Dean was beside me on the inside. Sam comes in after he called to check on Pam's condition and sits down across from us. Dean asks "what'd Bobby say?" Sam answers "Pam's stable and out of I.C.U." I sighed and say "and blind because of us," _it wasn't fair to Pam she wasn't involved and she got hurt_. Sam says "and we still have no clue who we're dealing with." Dean replies "that's not entirely true." Sam asks "no?" Dean responds "well, we got a name. Castiel or whatever, with the right mumbo-jumbo we could summon him, bring him to us." _That name unnerved me, it made me feel something, but I have no idea why, and that scares the living hell out of me._ Sam replies to Dean "you're crazy. Absolutely not," Dean counters "we'll, work him over. I mean, after what he did?" Sam slowly says "Pam took a peek at him and her eyes burned out of her skull, and you want to have a face to face?"

_I mean I didn't like it, but it was better than nothing. Besides this was my problem, mine alone and I wanted to tell them both to let me handle it but they'd never let me go at this alone._ So instead I ask Sam "you got a better idea?" Sam says "as a matter of fact I do. I followed some demons to town right?" Dean answers "okay." I nod silently and Sam says "so, we find them. Someone's got to know something about something." The waitress comes back and sets our food at our table; I grab a fry and chew while Sam replies "thanks." She sits down in a chair beside me, and Dean smirks at her and replies "you angling for a tip?" I roll my eyes and narrow them at her. _My skin had goose bumps and not the good kind_. She smirks and replies "I'm sorry, thought you were looking for us." Her eyes turn the demonic black as do the others in the diner. I was about to stand and fight until one goes to the door and locks it while guarding it. The waitresses' eyes go back to normal as she looks at me, "Anastasia. To hell and back, aren't you a lucky duck?"

I smirk, as I put on my stony faced persona while hunting, "yep that's me." She replies "so you just get to stroll out of the pit, don't you? Tell me. What makes you so special?" I reply "I like to think it's because of my sparkling green eyes and personality….I don't know. Wasn't my doing, I don't know who pulled me out." The demon says "right, you don't." Dean responds "we don't." She counters "lying's a sin you know?" I glare as I say "He's not lying and I sure as hell ain't. But I'd like to find out, so if you wouldn't mind enlightening me, flo…" She glared at me "mind your tone with me, girl. I'll drag you back to hell myself."

Dean and Sam were about to lunge, but I put a hand on their arms stopping them and they froze. I reply "no, because if you were, you would have done it already. Thing is you don't know it was that let me free and you're just as freaked out as we are. You're looking for answers, maybe it was some super charged spirit or some boss demon, I'm guessing you're a lower level demon and they don't tell you jack. Because whoever did this they want me out, and they're stronger than you. So go ahead, kill me or send me back, but don't say I didn't warn you when they come knocking." She glares at me and says "I'm gonna reach down throat and rip out your lungs." I lean forward expectantly, but she says nothing and doesn't move. Dean reaches over and slaps her; she does nothing so he again smacks her. She glares at us as I say "that's what I thought. Let's go guys," as we stand Dean gets a ten out and says "for the pie and fries."

We quickly walk out and I took a huge breath. I never actually antagonized a demon before I usually left that to Dean. I was always basically with Sam and threw in some comments and helped exorcise it. Dean said "holy crap, that was close." Sam asks "we're not gonna leave them in there are we guys?" I respond "well, there are three of them or more and we only got one knife between us three." Sam remarks "I've been killing a lot more demons then that lately." Dean says "well, not anymore the smarter siblings are back in town." Sam switches to me "Asia, we got to take them. They are dangerous," Desperate, much? Sam was starting to surprise me. Dean says "they're scared okay? Scared of whatever had the juice to yank Asia out. We're dealing with a bad mofo here; let's take it a step at a time."

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Dean and I fell asleep together researching, while Sam was on his laptop last time I checked. I woke up when I heard the radio turn on, and Dean gets up to and gets his shotgun. I hear the familiar murmuring and turn to check on Sam as Dean does, but his bed is empty. Dean grimaces and falls down and I run to him and crouch beside him as I put his arm around his shoulder to help him up and mirrors start breaking. Dean yells as I hurriedly pull him up as Bobby comes in "Asia! Dean!" I run with Dean over to him.

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We pile into Bobby's car since Dean wasn't capable of driving, and Sam took my car. Dean dried the blood off his face from the mirrors breaking in the motel room. "How you doing kids?" I respond "okay," Dean says "aside from the church bell's ringing in my head, peachy." Dean calls Sam and I ask Bobby "Dean heard static and ringing, while I heard murmurs and whispers, what does that mean?" He sighed and answered "wish I knew girl." Dean says "well, uh, Bobby's back. We're going to grab a beer." We give him looks and he puts a finger up signaling us to 'hold on.' Sam says something and Dean responds "done, catch you later." Bobby asks "why the hell didn't you tell him?" Dean says "because he'd just try to stop us." Bobby asks "from what?" Dean finishes "summoning this thing." Bobby and I are shocked. Dean continues "it's time we faced this head on."

I silently agree with Dean, Bobby states "you can't be serious!" Dean replies "as a heart attack. Its high noon, baby." Bobby tries again "well, we don't know what it is. It could be a demon, it could be anything." Dean persists "that's why we got to be ready for anything. We've got the big time magic knife, you got an arsenal in the trunk." Bobby says "this is a bad idea." I insert "yeah, I couldn't agree more, but what choice do we have?" Bobby answers "we could choose life." I sigh and say "Bobby, whatever this is, it wants me, and it's after me. That much we know right? I've got no place to hide. I can either be caught by surprise or we can make our stand." Bobby says "guys, we could use Sam for this." Dean argues "no, he's better off where he is."

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We stopped at an abandoned warehouse. Bobby and I write symbols all over the place. Dean says "that's a hell of an art project you two got going on there." Bobby answers "traps and talismans from every faith on the globe. How you doing?" Dean replies "stakes, iron, silver, salt, and knife. I mean we are pretty set to kill anything I've ever heard of." Bobby remarks "this is still a bad idea." Dean responds "yeah, I heard you the first ten times. What do you say we ring the dinner bell?" I shake my head at Dean, as Bobby performs the spell.

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An hour passes by with nothing, the guys are sitting while I pace. I pace, sit, pace, sit that's basically my routine when I'm nervous. Dean asks "you sure you did the ritual right?" Bobby give Dean a look and Dean says "sorry, touchy, touchy huh?" A wind rattles the roof and I grab a saw off as the guys get salt shotguns and we wait. The door burst open and in walks a handsome dark haired, blue eyed man in a business suit and a trench coat." I felt my heart pond but not in fear, so why was it beating so fast? The light bulbs shatter as he walks; as he walks closer he eyes Dean and Bobby but holds my gaze. His eyes were the most intense blue I'd ever seen. Bullets firing break my trance and I see Dean and Bobby shooting him but it doesn't seem to slow him down.

As Castiel reaches us I grab the knife and ask "who are you?" Castiel answers "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition." I respond "right, thank you for that." With that I pull back and stab him in the heart. Castiel only looks unconcerned and deflated. Bobby attacks Castiel with a crowbar but without looking Castiel puts two fingers to Bobby's forehead and Bobby collapses.

As Dean and I run to Bobby he grabs Dean and does the same to Dean that he did to Bobby while Dean says "son of a…" and he collapses before he could finish. Castiel says "we need to talk Anastasia, alone."

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I crouch over both Dean and Bobby checking their pulse, and glare at Castiel. Castiel says "your brother and friend are alive." I ask "who are you?" He answers "Castiel," I say "yeah, I figured. I mean what are you?" Castiel answers "I'm an Angel of the Lord." My answer is immediate "no way. There's no such thing." Castiel says "this is your problem, Anastasia; you've lost your faith." Lightning flashes and I see big black wings stretch and in a flash they're gone. "You burned out some woman's eyes, what angel does that?" He looks guilty-I feel bad- he responds "I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be…overwhelming to humans and so can my real voice." It clicks in my mind and I say "you mean the whispering at the motel room and gas station? That was you speaking?"

Castiel nods and I say "I couldn't hear you very well." Castiel explains "certain people, special people-like you- can perceive my true visage. I thought you were one of them, and I was right." I ask "and what visage are you in right now? Holy tax accountant?" Castiel looks at himself and says "this? This is a vessel." I say "you're possessing some poor idiot?" Castiel says "he's a devout man, he actually prayed for this." I say "well, I don't believe you. So who are you really?" Castiel frowns and says "I told you." I respond "right. And why would an angel rescue me from hell?" Castiel states "good things do happen, Anastasia." I look at him and say "not in my life." Castiel tilts his head and asks "what's the matter? You don't think you deserved to be saved." I tiredly ask "why'd you do it?" Castiel answers "because god commanded it. Because we have work for you."


	3. Ch3 Prayin' To A God I Don't Believe In

**Broken**

**Ch.3 Prayin' To A God I Don't Believe In**

**(Are You There God? It's Me Dean Winchester) **

I took a breath after Castiel disappeared. I awoke Dean and Bobby as I started explaining what happened. Dean agreed with me while Bobby wanted research and facts to back up anything. Now we were at Bobby's and Sam disagreed with us. I was with Bobby researching as Sam and Dean were discussing what happened. I read a paragraph where it explained that nothing had the juice to pull out a soul from hell. I sighed as I stood and walked over to the guys. "Well, then tell me what else could it be?" Dean says "look all I know is Asia was not groped by an angel." Sam argues "okay, Dean. Why do you think this Castiel would lie to Asia about it?" Dean replies "maybe he's some kind of demon, demons lie."

Bobby looks up at us and I point to the book I was reading and where I had placed a sticky note at he read it and let out a sigh. "A demon who's immune to salt rounds and Devils Traps…and Ruby's knife? Dean, Lilith is scared of that thing!" For some illogical reason I felt a rush of anger towards Sam for calling Castiel a thing. I finally cut in "don't you think if angels real, some hunter, somewhere would have seen one…at some point…ever?" Dean nods in agreement with me. Sam retorts "yeah, you just did Asia."

I roll my eyes as I say "I'm trying to come up with a theory here work with me." Sam replies "guys we have a theory." Dean says "yeah, one with a little less fairy dust on it, please." Sam cut in "okay, look I'm not saying we know for sure I'm just saying that I think we"- Dean cuts in "okay, okay. That's the point. We don't know for sure, I'm not gonna believe this thing is angel of the lord because it freaking says so!" Bobby finally cuts in "you three chuckleheads want to keep arguing religion or do you wanna come take a look at this?" We all walk over to Bobby. He says "I got stacks of lore. Biblical, pre-biblical, some of it's in damn cuneiform. It al says an angel can snatch a soul from the pit." Dean asks "what else?" Bobby replies "what else what?" I question "what else could do it?"

Bobby looks at me as he answers "airlift your ass out of the hot box? As far as I can tell nothing." Sam relieved says "guys, this is good news." I ask "how?" Sam answers "for once this isn't just another round of demon crap. I mean at least, maybe you were saved by one of the good guys, you know?" Dean replies "okay. Say it's true there are angels. Then what? There's a god?" Bobby answers "at this point, Vegas money moneys on yeah." I doubtfully said "I don't know guys." Sam interrupts "okay look. I know you're not all Catholic school girl or choir boy about this stuff, but this is becoming less and less about faith and more and more about proof." Dean in disbelief asks "proof?" Sam replies "yes."

I interrupt him "proof that there's a God out there that actually gives a crap about me personally? I'm sorry but I don't believe it." Dean now curious and Sam still arguing ask "why not?" I answer "because why me? If there is a God out there why would he care about me?" Sam's eyes soften as he starts "Asia"- I cut him off ranting "I mean I've saved people okay? I figured that made up for stealing money and using guys. But why do I deserve to be saved? I'm just a regular girl?" Sam replies "apparently you're a regular girl that's important to the man upstairs." I shiver as I say "well, that creeps me out. I mean I don't like being singled out at birthday parties…much less by…God." Sam smiles smugly at me as he says "well, too bad Asia, because I think he wants you to strap on your party hat." I shot him a glare as Dean says "alright. What do we know about angels?" Bobby gives us a ton of books as he says "start reading." We look at each other and Sam says "Dean…" Dean says "you're gonna get me some pie and Asia some cookies and cream ice cream. Five minutes into researching I tell Dean I'm gonna take a walk around the salvage yard so that I can absorb it all. "Don't go too far out, Asia." I rolled my eyes as I said "yeah, yeah, I know." He added "and don't take too long, I need some help with the research."

I nodded as I strolled out of the house with my favorite .50 pistol. I jog to the back and walk away some as I close my eyes and call out "Adriel," as soon as we had arrived at Bobby's I had felt that we were being followed. After thirty seconds I hear a crunching and he comes out wearing a different person. "What happened to"- he cut me off "I was attacked. Don't worry about this meat suit it's just like the other one, no one inside but me." He walked closer to me as he stood a few inches away and twirled a piece of my dark brown hair around his finger. I push him away after a few seconds and he says "last time I saw you; you poured salt down my throat." I grimaced and said "I needed to know"- he nods and says "I know, so it's true?" I confusedly ask "what?" He asks "an angel rescued you from the pit, Ana?"

I answered "we're not sure." He nods at me and looks thoughtful as I ask "you're not afraid?" He shrugs and says "well, I'm helping you aren't I?" I nod and he slips up "more than I can say for Ruby." I shockingly asked "what? I thought she was dead? What's going on Adriel?" He answers "I got to run. Got to keep a low profile you know. I'll see you later, Ana." I sigh frustrated but let him walk away knowing that he wasn't going to answer my questions. As I walk back to Bobby's Sam is just arriving and Bobby fills us in on the situation. I ride in my car as we go check up on Bobby's friend. As we walk inside a scent hits my nostrils, death. As we walk towards her Dean says "EMF, Olivia was rocking the EMF meter." Sam nods and says "spirit activity." Dean finishes "on steroids." I noticed "I've never seen a ghost do this to a person."

Bobby enters his phone in hand and I ask "you alright, Bobby?" Bobby replies "I called some hunters nearby," Dean interrupts "good, we can use their help." Bobby continued "except they ain't answering their phones either." Sam asks "something's up, huh?" Bobby snaps "you think?" The three of us shot each other looks as we all started calling hunters up and we checked up on them to find them dead. Dean's on the phone with Bobby, first demons, angels, and now this? I headed back to Bobby's as the boys stopped for gas. "Be careful, Asia." Dean warned me I answered "always am." As I arrive and enter I shout "Bobby!" I walk upstairs and as I turned the corner a figure appears. Ian, a werewolf who was killing people a while back that hadn't known what he was doing and I fell in love with him during the case. "Hey, Asia," he grinned at me.

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I get knocked onto the wall and punched in the face as Ian screamed "you could have saved me! You should have found a way! I loved you!" A kick to the ribs follow by a blow to the face. "I'm sorry," I brokenly whisper. He yells "I had a family!" A kick to the head and a slam to the floor as he punches me again. "I had a little brother! My parents are dead and I had to look after him! But no!" He kicks me in my back as he pulls my hair back. "You come to town with your brothers, I had no idea what was going on!" As he throws another punch I swiftly block it and he pulls me up and grabs me roughly and throws me into a table that breaks. Ouch, that hurt. "I was in love with you from the moment I saw you! If you would have just left I would be alive! My brother wouldn't be doing drugs or alcoholic!

Tears brim in my eyes as I say "I'm sorry," and I reached over and grabbed a fire poker as I swipe at him and slowly get up and limp downstairs. I barely can hold myself up and almost crash to the ground but Bobby, Dean, and Sam rush in looking pretty beat up. They look over at me to see me barely holding myself up and Sam and Dean rush over as Dean says "whoa," when I almost fall. Dean sets me on a chair as Sam asks "so there all people we know?" Dean replies "not just know. People we couldn't save. I saw something on Meg. Did she have a tattoo when she was alive?" I shook my head as I reset my nose.

Sam answers "I don't think so." Den says "it was like a mark on her hand almost like a brand," I flash back to where Ian had roughly pulled me up and I caught a sign of the brand. Sam replies "I saw a mark too, on Henriksen." I nod as I say "yeah, it saw it on Ian." The boys eyed me as Sam shot me sympathy and Dean shot me a sad look. I shrugged at them.

*****_Ian says "I don't want to die. I don't. But I can't live like this. This is the way you can save me. Please, I'm asking you to save me." Asia shakes her head while Dean takes the gun from Ian and Sam guides Asia to another room. Sam is sniffling. "Asia, I'm sorry." Dean tells her. Sam sniffles and says "Asia…" Asia says "no, you're both right. He's right." Dean tenderly says "Lee, I got this one." Sam offers "I'll do it." Asia determinedly says "he asked me to." Dean replied "you don't have to." Asia closes her eyes and opens them and there shiny with tears threatening to fall as she says "yes I do, please." She holds her hand out for the gun. Dean and Sam share a look. Sam nods and Dean hands the gun to Asia. Sam places a hand on Asia's shoulder. "Just wait here," she tells them both. Asia glances back at them; Sam had tears streaming down his face. Dean slowly turned and had a tear rolling down his cheek. Asia cleared her throat and set her face in determination her eyes closed as she tightened her grip on the gun. She steps into the room where Ian was. Sam sniffles when the shot is heard as Dean flinches at the sound_.*****

Bobby breaks the silence "what'd it look like?" Sam draws it and holds it up to us as I nod and Dean says "that's it." Bobby says "I may have seen this before. We got to move, follow me." We follow Bobby downstairs as Sam asks "okay, where are we going?" Bobby remarks "some place safe you idiot." Bobby takes us to his basement which is basically a safe house. "Bobby is this"- Bobby cuts him off "solid iron completely coated in salt. One hundred percent ghost proof." Sam asks "you built a panic room?" Bobby nonchalantly says "I had a weekend off."

Dean says "Bobby," Bobby replies "what?" Dean and I in sync say "you're awesome." As we turned we saw a picture of Bo Derek I simply raise an eyebrow but don't comment.

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As were making rock salt bullets Dean says what I've been thinking "see this is why I can't get behind God." Sam asks "what are you talking about?" I explain "Dean means that if he doesn't exist great, fine. Bad crap happens to good people. That's life…we're cool with that. But if he is out there what's his problem? What's wrong with him?" Dean finishes "where the hell is he when people are getting torn to shreds? How does he live with himself? You know why doesn't he help?" Sam looks over at Bobby for help but Bobby answers "I ain't touching this one with a 10 foot pole- found it." Sam asks "what?" Bobby answered "the symbol you saw-the brand on the ghosts…yeah? Mark of the witness." Sam asked "witness? Witness to what?" Bobby replied "the unnatural. None of them died what you'd call ordinary deaths. See these ghosts-they were forced to rise. They woke up in agony, they were like rabid dogs. It ain't their fault. Someone rode them…on purpose." Sam asked "who?"

Bobby answered "do I look like I know? But whoever it was used a spell so powerful it left a mark, a brand on their souls. Whatever di this had big plans. It's called 'Rising of the Witnesses." It figures into an ancient prophecy." Wait! No way…. "Wait, wait, wait…what-what book does is the prophecy come from?" Bobby answers him "well, the widely distributed version's just for tourists, long story short"- I cut him as I breathlessly say "Revelations…guys this is a sign," Sam and Dean both looked at me and in sync asked "sign of what?" I answered "the apocalypse." Dean shocked asked "apocalypse? The apocalypse-apocalypse? The four horsemen, pestilence, $5-a-gallon gas apocalypse?" Bobby answers "that's the one. The Rise of the Witnesses is a mile marker." Sam asked "so what do we do now?"

Dean answers "road trip, Grand Canyon, Star Trek Experience, Bunny Ranch," I roll my eyes as Bobby replies "first things first-how about we survive our friends out there? Great," Dean asks "any ideas aside from staying in this room until judgment day?" Bobby ignores him as he says "it's a spell. To send the witnesses to rest, should work…" he trailed off and I raised my eyebrows. Sam replies "should? Great," Dean asks "any chance you got everything we need here in this room?" I sighed at them and shook my head. I was still bruised after my encounter with Ian. Bobby questioned "so did you think our luck was gonna start now all of a sudden? Spell's got to be cast over an open fire."

I suggest "fire place in the library." Bobby nods as he says "bingo." Dean protests "that's just as appealing as a ghost proof room, you know?" I huffed as I pushed myself off the table I was leaning on and walked over to my brothers and smacked them upside the head, "stop your whining you big babies." Dean and Sam rubbed their heads as Sam sent me a glare and Dean stuck his tongue out at me. I sighed as I rolled my eyes and looked at Bobby who shrugged.

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As we leave the panic room Bobby instructs "cover each other, and aim careful. Don't run out of ammo until I'm done, or they'll shred you, ready?" As we continue walking by the stairs we see a ghost sitting on the steps. I immediately recognized him, Ronald. Ronald asked "hey, Dean, you remember me?" Ronald had been shot when we worked a case and he believed the killer was a man droid but it was actually a shape shifter and he died when the police tried to stop us.

Dean answers "Ronald huh, with the laser eyes? I wish I could say it's good to see you." I shook my head, really Dean? Out of everything he wants to chat with a ghost? Ronald said "I am dead because of you. You were supposed to help me!" Bobby shoots Ronald and tells us "if you're gonna shoot, shoot. Don't talk," We walk to the living room, Sam and I create the salt circle around Bobby's area. Dean makes the fire and Bobby prepares for the spell. Bobby tells Sam "upstairs linen closet-red hex box, it'll be heavy." Sam replied "got it."

Then two little girls appeared and one says "Bobby," I shoot her as Dean shoots the other one. Bobby yells at Dean "kitchen, cutlery drawer, it's got a false bottom. Hemlock, opium, wormwood." Dean asks "opium?" Bobby yells "go!" I stayed to protect Bobby as the two girls appear and I shoot one while the other says "Bobby. You walked right by us while that monster ate us all up." I loaded my guns as my nerves were haywire. As the other girl appeared and said "you could have saved us." I shot them both and start to reload my gun as I heard bangs from the kitchen and then Ian appears and he says that one word "Lily," and I pause in reloading my gun. No one ever called me that, he had cut my weird ass name short and had called me that when we made love. I gulped this was the only man I ever loved, and had given my whole self too. "Ian," I whispered softly in the back of my head I noticed Bobby had continued with the spell.

I looked at Ian's ghostly face, his blue eyes burned in anger as his hair was in that perfect ruffled look. He stated through gritted teeth "when you shot me…you didn't shed a tear. But that's your motto right? Cold hearted bitch right?" Tears brimmed in my eyes and I wiped my eyes as Dean and Sam ran in to the room. I looked back at Ian and with tears I said "sorry," and shot him. I sighed ad Déjà vu hit me, I had shot him just like I had before. I remembered my job burned into my head. The job comes first; you can mourn after you get it done. I reloaded my gun as Ronald appeared in front of Dean "Ronald. Hey c'mon man, I thought we were a pal," Ronald said "that's when I was breathing. Now I'm gonna eat you alive."

Dean laughed as he said "well, come on. I'm not a cheeseburger." Dean aims and Ronald disappears as a gust of wind blows the salt circle. Meg appears and Sam shoots her, as Bobby continues the spell and Ronald appears and I shoot him. Ian appears in front of me and I shoot him. As I reload my gun it's knocked out of my hands by Ian. Dean's gun is swiped away by Henriksen and I swoop down and grab a fire poker as does Dean and swiped at Ian. I see Meg trap Sam as he struggles and Dean and I yell "Sam!" Sam yells "cover Bobby!" As ghosts crowd us I swipe at the two little girls. Meg approaches Bobby and grips his heart and Dean and I yell "Bobby!" Ian now in front of me sends me a nasty grin as he digs his hand into my heart and the fire poker falls out of my hand. I grimace in pain. It felt like he was trying to squeeze every last drop of blood from my beating heart. Dean turns to me "Asia!" I see Bobby drop the bowl and we both yell "Dean!" Dean makes a great save and throws it into the fire. As soon as he does the ghost disappear.

I fall to my knees but get to my feet as Sam and Bobby also had fallen and I hurry and help Bobby up. I asked "you okay Bobby?" He nodded. I touched my chest lightly as I grimaced.

**###&&&*** ###**

A few hours afterward I pull put my phone as I walked about a mile away from the salvage yard. "Sweetheart, what do I owe the pleasure?" I hear Adriel's voice on the end and say "I need to talk to you, right now. Alone," there was a moment of silence and he said "okay. Be there ASAP." I said "I need answers," and swiftly hung up.

**###&&&*** ###**

"Is it true?" I asked Adriel. Adriel asked "is what true?" I replied "the apocalypse. Is it true? The whole deal with the witnesses?" He nodded and said "yeah, so far from my side yeah it's true. They don't exactly give me all the details though." I asked hesitantly "what do you know about my…abilities?" His eyes widened and said "Lilith's mentioned it." I nodded and asked "any news on Ruby?" He scoffed and said "that bitch is alive as far as I know. Demons are hunting her though." I nodded, of course Sam knew. He was lying to us. I asked "what more do you know about the apocalypse?" He shrugs as he says "I told you, not enough. But I'll keep an ear out. What I can tell you is that something's coming. Something big and it's not like anything we've dealt with before. So be careful out there." I nodded and said "always am." He gave me a look as he scoff and turned around as I watched him walk away.

**###&&&*** ###**

I went to sleep on the couch, Dean and Sam on the floor. I felt my eyes open and I looked around and saw Castiel in Bobby's kitchen. As I walked towards him I saw his eyes drop down to the floor. I looked down to see I only had on shorts and a camisole. Guess looking was a sin. There's something like that in the bible right? His faced was outlined in the dark and his eyes seemed cold. His eyes lifted to meet mine and they looked frigid not like last time, well the first time we spoke.

I pause in front of him and he said "excellent job with the witnesses." I looked into his eyes and noticed how they seemed too wise, too old, like he had seen too much in his lifetime. That's when it occurs to me what he said and I asked shocked "you knew?" He nodded as he said "I was made aware of." I shook my head as I said "well thanks for the help. Dean, Bobby and I almost got our hearts ripped out of our chests." His eyes slid down to said thing and he took in the bruises that were forming, they were a deep blue purple color, but I had, had worse. He closed his eyes for a second but briefly I had a twinge of emotion in them before he went back to Mr. Emotionless as he said "but you didn't."

I shook my head in disbelief as I crossed my arms, my patience is thin if you hadn't noticed and replied "you know I thought angels were supposed to protect, not, not give a rat's ass." He replied "read the bible. Angels are warriors of God. I am a soldier." I asked "then why not do something?" He retorted "I am not here to perch on your shoulder. We had larger concerns." I shook my head, what the hell was wrong with him as I said "really? There were people dying down here. And while this is going on where the hell was your boss? If there is a God?!" Castiel immediately said "there is a God." I shook my head as I took a step closer and replied "I'm not convinced, cause if there is a God what's he waiting for to do a damn thing? Monsters roaming the Earth? Genocide?"

Castiel replied "the Lord works"- I cut him by waving by finger in his face as he leaned on the counter and I said "don't say mysterious ways!" He held his hands up in surrender I continued "so Bobby, Adriel"- he flinched at the name but I ignored it as I continued "and I are right? About the witnesses…it's a sign of the apocalypse?" Castiel nods as he says "that's why we're here…big things afoot." I shook my head as I looked back up at him and asked "do I want to know what kinds of things?" Up until now I realized how tall he was. He was just a little shorter than Dean's six feet. I had to look up because of my five feet five inches. Castiel shook his head as he said "I sincerely doubt it. But you need to know, the Rising of the Witnesses is one of the 66 seals." I nodded as he continued "those seals are being broken by Lilith."

I asked "she's did the spell? She rose the witnesses?" Castiel nods and says "um huh and not just here, 20 other hunters are dead." I nodded as I said "of course she chose the victims hunters couldn't save to go right after us." Castiel in agreement replies "Lilith has a certain sense of humor." I replied "but we put the spirits back to rest." Castiel answers "it doesn't matter. The seal was broken." I asked "why break the seal?" Castiel explains "you think of seals as locks on a door." I nodded and questioned "okay, last one opens and?" Castiel answered "Lucifer walks free."

Shocked I asked "Lucifer? As in the devil? Like the devil, devil? But I thought that was just something losers said to put the blame on someone else." Castiel replied "three days ago you thought there was no such thing as me. Why do you think we're walking among you for the first time in 2000 years?" I answered "to stop Lucifer." He nodded "that's why we arrived." Suddenly I blew up "you couldn't have explained sooner? We could have possibly saved a seal?! If only you and Adriel"-he cut me off "which reminds me you're conspiring with a demon." It comes out more like a statement than question as I answer "more like using." He looked me dead in the eye "you will end all ties dealing with him, as soon as possible."

I shook my head in anger as I said "he's helped me out more than you angels have. I mean you guys let this seal brake"- he clenched his jaw as he looked down at me his stance rigid as I saw his coiled anger as he said "we tried. And there are other battles, other seals. Some we'll win, some we'll lose. This one we lost. Our numbers are not limited"-as he took a step closer I saw how close we actually were, he didn't seem to know what personal space was.

I shook my head as he continued "six of my brothers and sisters died in the field of work. You think the armies of heaven should just follow you around? There's a bigger picture here," he stepped even closer and this time his eyes were as cold as ice as they glared into my green ones and our faces were centimeters away as he spoke with passion and anger. His monotone bordering on scary but my heart was still racing, what the hell is wrong with me?

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell; I can throw you back in." I gulped at his words as I trembled and with one last look he vanished.

**###&&&*** ###**

I gasp as I bolt up on the couch. I heard movement in the kitchen and saw Dean was up and eating as Sam sat beside me and tied his shoes. I was pale and clammy Castiel's threat repeating in my head. Hell, back to hell, he wouldn't do it right? Sam noticed my state and asked "are you alright? What's wrong Asia?" This causes Dean to come over and I look at them both as I said "Dean I know you're not all choir boy about this but Sam you have no problem believing in…God and angels?" Sam and Dean exchanged a look as I ran a hand through my hair. Sam answered "no, not really." I looked at them both as I said "so I guess that means you believe in the devil?" Sam sends Dean a look as concern etched their faces and Dean asks "why are you asking all of this?" I sighed as I took a deep breath as I began to replay Castiel's visit in my dream. But Dean of course interrupted.

"Wait…you had a dream about Castiel?" I rolled my eyes at Dean's smirk and said "no, he…appeared in my dream." Dean raised an eyebrow as I said "dude, he's like an angel. That's got to be a sin or something." Dean shrugged but didn't wipe the smirk off his face as I continued with the story excluding the dragging me to hell part.

{AN: I am going to try to update this as much as possible along with my other stories.}


	4. I'm Going To Hell,,, Again

**A Darker Truth**

**Ch. 4 I'm Going To Hell…Again**

(Season 4 Episode 3 In The Beginning) 

_"No! Please, no!"_ I woke up with a start. My chest heaving in raspy breaths as I tried to even my breaths out. Second time that day I awoke to hell memories, before going to hell, I had nightmares about Ian dying, dad dying, and Sam dying. Now, it was of hell. I shake my head to rid myself of my morbid thoughts. As I turn my head slightly I see Dean had awoken too with a loud groan. I rolled my eyes and turned the other way I see bright blue eyes peering at me. I flinched and pushed myself back so fast that I hit my head on the headboard. I let out a hiss as I held my head in my hand. "Hello, Anastasia, Dean. What were you dreaming about Anastasia?" I looked at him to see him peering into my eyes again and my heart pounded in my chest as my cheeks flushed red.

I tried to come up with an answer but Dean beat me to it "what do you get your freak on watching Asia sleep? What do you want?" My cheeks flushed more and I knew I resembled a tomato from Dean's outburst. Dean walks over to my side. Castiel ignores him as he looks at me and said "listen to me. You both have to stop it." Dean and I in sync ask "stop what?" He puts two fingers on my forehead as he does to Dean.

As I come to I awake with Dean on a bench. I slowly get up as a cop says "move it, you can't sleep here." I look around groggily as Dean answers "okay…sleep, where?" The cop answered "anywhere but here." I sat up as events rush through my head. I swiftly checked my phone to see I had no signal as Dean also checks his own and Dean voiced my thoughts "great." Dean says "let's look around and try to see where we are." Luckily, he didn't ask about what I had dreamt about. I nod as I drowsily followed Dean into a diner. Yes, I was still drowsy. Hell, nightmares do that to you. As I took a seat beside Dean it took a minute to fully turn to him a bit more awake. That's when I noticed the guy beside Dean…and to put it lightly…he was hot. "Hey, where the hell am I?" Dean asked. I widened my eyes at Dean's behavior. He was embarrassing me. The man answered "Jay Bird's diner." I nodded as I took that in while Dean replies "yeah, I mean…city and state." The guy answers "Lawrence, Kansas." My ears perked up at that.

Softly I say "Lawrence…" the man turned to me slightly as he saw the look I had and asked "are you okay, ma'am?" I nodded as Dean says "yeah, just…rough night." I blinked as I looked at him and a disgusting image popped into my head at that. I shivered at the image of it and looked at Dean with a 'really?' look. The man nodded and yelled "hey three coffee's over here Reg!" Reg nods and yells "yeah, coming up!" Dean pulls out his phone and asks "can you tell me where can I reception on this thing?" The man replies "the US enterprise." I look at him weirdly and then the coffee is brought to us I look at the guy weirdly since he looked like a hippy.

Dean says "thanks, nice threads. You know Sonny and Cher broke up right?" The man asked "Sonny and Cher broke up?" I looked at him weirdly then I looked at Dean and we exchanged looks. Then we looked around and everyone else was decked out in the same type of clothing. Seventies clothes to be more exact. What the hell was going on? "Hey, Winchester!" On instinct I turned around as did Dean and to our amazement a guy walks over to the man beside Dean and shakes his hand. The man beside Dean says "hey Mr. D." Mr. D replies "I heard you were back." The man replies "a little while now." Mr. D says "good to have you home, John, damn good." I gulped as I breathed in a breath. It felt like I had just been sucker punched.

Dean and I whisper "dad." This was dad in a younger version. Mr. D says "well say hello to your old man for me." Dad-that sounds weird any way he said "you got it Mr. D." As we stare at him he asks "do we know each other?" I almost whispered 'yes' but I didn't. He gets up to leave and says "take it east man, you too ma'am." I nod as he leaves and Dean whispers "yeah." I took a sip of my coffee and as soon as he's out of sight I pull out five dollar bills and put them on the counter and Dean and I make our way out the door trailing him. I mean this was our dad. As we trail our dad around a corner of a building we bump into Castiel. When I say we I mean I bumped into him. I took a step back from him and asked "what is this?" He turned his gaze to me and I felt my heart pound as my throat went dry and I tried to act nonchalant as if his lack of knowing what personal space was didn't bother me.

Castiel replied "what does it look like?" Dean asked "is it real?" Castiel replied "very." Dean questioned "okay so what? Angels got their hands on some Deloreans? How did we get here?" Castiel answers "time is fluid, Dean, it's not easy but we can bend it on occasion." I retorted "well…bend it back or tell me why we're here." Castiel turned to me again and said "I told you, you have to stop it." I asked "stop what? Is there something after our dad?" A car beeps and I'm distracted as I turn to the sound and then back to Castiel but see he's gone. Dean groans "oh come on! What are you allergic to straight answers you son of a bitch?!"

**###&&&*** ###**

As we followed our dad-John we saw him at a dealership. We saw him check out an old kombi as he spoke to the salesman. Dean and I move over to the 1967 Chevy Impala as the salesman leaves. Dean calls out "that's not the one you want." Dad-John looked over at us with suspicion as he asks "are you following me?" Before Dean could say something stupid and ruin everything I say "no, no, never. We were just passing through. Thing is, we never got the chance to thank you for the coffee I mean this morning we we're a little messed up, I guess you could say." He switched his gaze to mine as he smiled and said "more than a little." Dean cut in "let me repay the favor." Dean pats the hood of the Impala. I say "this is the one you want." He looks over at me somewhat amused and in disbelief some as he asks "oh yeah? Y-you know something about cars?" Amused I look over at Dean, did I know about cars? Hell yeah I knew everything there was about cars. Then again, he didn't know he was our dad. I looked at Dean and noticed his face was sad. I decided to answer.

I said "yeah, our dad actually…he taught us everything we know." John looked surprised "_**your**_ dad? So you two aren't-never mind," he finished the sentence softly. I looked at his face to try to find the cold, stone faced hunter but find a young, innocent civilian. I heard a throat clear and look away from dad-John who was looking at me with a bit of concern; I had been staring too long. Dean says "and this-this is a great car." Dean props the hood open and we both lean in as John joins us setting himself in between us. Dean says "327, four barrel, 275 horses," I finished "a little TLC and this thing is badass." Dean puts the hood down and John says "you're right." I nodded and asked "then why are you buying that…" I tried to find a decent word but Dean beat me to it as he said "that thing, why buy it?"

John looks embarrassed as he looks at Dean then at me and answers "I kind of promised someone I would." Even when I knew little about romance since I didn't have a romantic life, not after Ian. I could tell when someone else did, and John was in love. He was buying it for a girl. Dean continued "over a '67 Chevy? I mean, come on this is the car of a lifetime." I cut in "Trust me; this thing is still gonna be badass when it's forty." He took a minute and then held his hand out to me "John Winchester, thanks." I nodded as I shook it and replied "Anastasia Van Halen, no problem." He held out his hand to Dean who said "Dean…Van Halen, thank you."

I asked "we we're in pretty roughed shape this morning huh?" John laughed and I smiled, I rarely ever saw the hunter John Winchester laugh. He answered "no kidding." Dean said "I've been hung over before but, hey, I was, I was getting chills in that diner, and you didn't feel any of those cold spots did you?" John answered "nope." What was Dean doing? Dean asked "I swore I smelled something weird too you know? You didn't happen to smell any sulfur by chance?" John answered "no." Oh, Dean, no. "No? There been any cattle mutations in town recently"- John cut him off "ok mister! Stop it," I grabbed Dean's wrist as I pulled him and said to John "I'm sorry, ignore him. I believe he was dropped on his head one too many…just watch out for yourself, okay John?" He nodded and smiled as he answered "yeah, sure." I pull Dean away with one last shoulder look at John. As I turned around I heard him say "I'll take this one."

**###&&&*** ###**

As we trailed John he pulled the Impala up to a house and a young blonde ran to John. As we listened in on them a few words caught my ears. "Mary," Dean whispered and I choked out "mom."

**###&&&*** ###**

Again we trailed John and mom-Mary to the diner. We watch them from outside-I know stalker-ish but come on these are our parents. As we watched them I noticed how mom and I had the same eyes, nose and lips. Then I looked at John and saw that I had gotten the good looks a lot from him. Dean breathed out "Sammy wherever you are, mom is a total babe." I shook my head as I looked at John and accidently blurted out "dad was sexy back in the day. I can't believe I just said that. I'm going to hell…again."

**###&&&*** ###**

After a while of watching them I see that Mary had been gone a while. "Hey, where's"- I didn't get to finish as a voice interrupted "why are you following us?" We turned around swiftly and as we did she kneed Dean in the stomach and sends him into a wall. She throws a punch at me but I sidestep it and ask "are you crazy?" She continues to walk towards to me but I grab her arms as she tries to shove me, she says "you two have been trailing us since my house." I lied "I don't know what you're talking about"- she cut me off "really?" Dean comes over as she head-butts me "crap," I hissed and they grapple as I hold my temple. I sighed and said "okay let' all calm down and talk about this," Mary struggled against Dean "let me go!" As they continue grappling something catches my eye apparently Dean's too as we both in sync asked "are you a hunter?"

**###&&&*** ###**

I avert my eyes from Mary and John who we're talking as Dean and I hid ourselves in the bushes. Once I hear the engine rev and speed away we both left the bushes. Mary asked "Dean and Anastasia right? I'm not sure you should come in." Dean had insisted on coming after I tried to talk him out of it he didn't listen. Mary looked nervous as she eyed us. Dean turned on the Winchester charm "you can trust us, I mean, come on we're all hunters right? I mean we're-we're practically family." Sure, we were. Mary replied "yeah, thing is, my dad he's a little um…" Dean says "we got to meet him." Mary asked "you heard of him?" With a glare at Dean I answered "clearly not enough."

**###&&&*** ###**

Mr. Campbell, senior, our granddad asks "so your hunters? Well tell me something Ms. Hunter do you kill vampires with wooden stakes or silver?" I crossed my arms and answer nonchalantly "neither. You cut their heads off." Dean asked "so did we pass your test?" Mary's dad replied "she did. You? How do you kill a shape shifter?" Dean replies "silver to the heart, now did we pass it?"

He replies "yep…now get out of my house. I don't"- Mary yells "dad!" Mary's dad says "I don't trust other hunters, Dean, Anastasia, don't want them around my family." Mary's mom comes over to us and says "knock it off Samuel." Samuel? Sam? Samuel says "they're hunters." Mary's mom says who passed your little pop quiz, and now I am inviting them to dinner. Are you two hungry?" Dean answers "starving." I shrugged and she says "good, I'm Deanna. You've met my husband Samuel, now wash up." As the two leave we turn to Mary. Dean asks "Samuel and Deanna?" Mary nods. I ask "really?" The guys were named after mom's parents.

**###&&&*** ###**

As we eat dinner Deanna asks "first time in Lawrence?" Dean answers "well, it's been a while. Things, have changed…I think." Samuel asks "you working a job?" I answered "yeah, maybe." Samuel looked at me and asked "what's that mean?" I could tell he didn't like me very much. Dean answers "it means we don't trust other hunters either Samuel." Mary asked "so why were you two following me and John?" I cleared my throat and answered "well, we thought something was after your…boyfriend, I-we don't think so anymore." Deanna replied "John Winchester mixing it up with spirits, can you imagine?" Oh, yeah, and we lived through it. Mary says "I saw that," at Samuel who had made a face.

Samuel asks "what?" She responds "that sour lemon look." Samuel replies "now hold on, John's a real nice…naïve civilian." Mary asked "so what? You'd rather me be with a guy like this?" She motioned towards Dean and Dean immediately says "what? No, no," as we both exchanged looks. Samuel says "Mary of course not, it's just I"- Deanna cuts in "that's enough both of you. We have company." After a pause Dean asks "so what about you Sam, you working a job?" Samuel answers "might be." Mary says "he's working a job on the Whitshire farm." Samuel gave Mary a look as I cleared my throat and said "Whitshire why does that name sound familiar to me?" I looked over at Dean with a confused look. He shrugs.

Samuel answers "well, it's been all over the papers, Tom Whitshire got tangled up in a combine a few towns over." I said "that kind of thing happens." He replied "so why was he on it in the fireplace when his crops are all dead?" I bit my lip and asked "demonic omens?" Samuel said "that's what I got to find out." Dean asked "well, what about the rest of the town? Did you find anything on the web-…of information that you have assembled?" Deanna replies "electrical storms maybe. The weather service graphs should be here Friday." Stupidly Dean asks "by mail?" Samuel sarcastically says "no, we hired a jet liner to fly 'em to us overnight." Dean replies "you know it seems to me like we might be hunting the same thing. You know if we go in there in numbers, we could take care of this real quick." Samuel frustrated says "what part of we work alone don't you understand son?"

**###&&&*** ###**

Dean decides to let me handle the troubled teen as he spoke to the woman. We walk around the perimeter as we talk. I talk to Charlie about everything and anything to let him feel comforted before I go into the deep things. As I ask him about his home problems Mary made her way towards us. I shot her a smile as I reassured the boy Mary was a friend. After a few minutes Dean walks over and Mary says "Charlie would you like to tell the father what you just told us?" Charlie answered "dad got drunk, and sometimes he got rough with mom." I nodded and inquired "and that's when the stranger showed up?" Charlie answered "I just thought he was some Bible thumper like you all. He showed up a week ago." Dean asked "saying what?"

Charlie answered "did I want the beatings to stop; I just thought he was crazy. I didn't think-and the next thing I know, dad's dead. Am I going to jail?" I grabbed his arm and squeezed it softly as I held his chin in between my fingers and said "you didn't do this Charlie." He nodded weakly and I let go as Dean asked "did the stranger want something in return?" Charlie replied "he didn't want anything." Dean impatiently sighed and said "come on, he wasn't just handing out freebies was he?" Charlie responds "he did say something about 'coming a calling' ten years from now, maybe he'd want something then." Dean asked "something like what?" Charlie sighed and replied "I don't know okay? Look I told you he was nuts."

Mary drags Dean away some as I tell Charlie "you did nothing wrong okay? You thought you were doing the right thing," He asked "did I?" I didn't get to reply as Mary and Dean came back. Mary asked "Charlie do you remember what this stranger looked like?" He looked at her and then looked at me as did Mary and Dean. I nodded at him and he replied "yeah, he was about 5'10, white, normal looking really." I asked "anything else?" Charlie looked up at me and said "there was one thing?" Dean impatiently asked "what?"

Charlie responded "it's just the light hit his eyes in a weird way and…for a moment I could have sworn"- Dean cut him off "what? That they were black or red maybe?" I shoved Dean a little as I turned to Charlie and asked softly "Charlie, what did you see? We won't think your crazy I swear." He nods as he looks over at Dean and Mary before looking at me and replying "his eyes, they were a pale yellow." My body froze, breathing on pause, eyes wide, heart pounding away. I looked over at Dean and we met each other's gaze and just like that we knew what we had to do.

**###&&&*** ###**

Later that night we're at the Campbell's again. Dean slams the map down as we're checking to find Elkins place for the colt. I swiftly started leafing through dad's journal as Dean did the same to the map and Samuel says "what do you say we just slow down and talk this thing through?" Dean answers "there's nothing to talk about." Samuel replies "except you're saying it's a demon. And none of us has ever heard of a demon with yellow eyes." I nodded and said "yeah, well we have, and this thing killed our family."

I frantically start flipping through dad's journal and Samuel says "just calm down." I sighed and shook my head as I said "you don't get it, do you? You are in danger, we are all in danger." Dean cuts in with a pointed look at them as he says "in fact you need to get yourself some place safe." Deanna says "Sam's right, Dean, Anastasia. It could be a demon, it could be a shape shifter, and it could be any number of things." Dean replies "we know what this thing is," Deanna goes back to the kitchen and I finish "and we're gonna kill it that's all the talking we need to do." Samuel asks "you're gonna kill a demon? How?" Dean answers "there's a hunter named Daniel Elkins, he lives in Colorado, and he has the Colt gun, the colt." Samuel says "yeah I heard about the colt, used to tell it to Mary as a bedtime story." Aggravated I stated "well, it's real."

I notice he and Deanna exchanged looks and Samuel says "alright, say that it is. You got some crystal ball to tell you where the demon's gonna be?" I nod as I held up dad's journal I was flipping through and said "yeah we do." As I flipped I found it. "What's this?" He asked. Dean moved over to me and answered "a list." Samuel asked "of what?" Dean answered "our dad wrote down anyone he thought ever had contact with the yellow eyed demon, who, where and when." Samuel asked "why?" Dean answered "because the more he could learn about this son of a bitch, the more he could figure out why it killed our mom."

As I flipped it I pointed and Dean looked over my shoulder as he read "look Whitshire farm." I nudged Dean "I told you that name sounded familiar." Samuel said "Whitshire farm? That was two days ago, how the hell is that on your dad's list?" Dean looked at Samuel and answered "uh, our dad could see the future. Look at this it says he's gonna hit here tomorrow night." Samuel asked "Liddy Walsh?" I nodded Dean looked at me and said "Haleyville, that's close." I nodded at him. Samuel says "I mean yeah, it's about three miles away but…" He and Deanna share looks.

I look at them and say "I know you guys must think we're crazy." Samuel looked at me and said "you and Dean seem like really nice kids, but yeah-you're crazy." Dean nods and says "yeah, maybe. But we know where the bastard's gonna be"- I finished "and we're gonna stop it, once and for all." We grab our stuff and pack up, I slip dad's journal in Dean's jacket and take the map.

**###&&&*** ###**

As we begin to walk out I pause at the living room. Dean behind me, and I look at Mary. She looks up and our eyes meet and I smile as Dean says "we're shoving off, just wanted to say bye." Mary asked "really? So soon?" Dean replies "yeah-job to do. Hey, I wanted to t-tell you, you know for what it's worth, um…it doesn't matter what your dad thinks. I like that John kid." I smile as I nod and Mary looks at me and smiles. God, Dean and I had her smile. She asks "you do?" I smile as I say "yeah, I think you two are meant to be," Dean softly says "we're depending on it." She asked "what?" I shook my head "nothing. Can I ask you a question?" Dean looked over at me. She nods at me. I asked "what's he like? John," Mary eyed me and asked "why do you ask?"

I shrugged and she said "you know, you can get out too. Everyone should have a choice, I'm sure your brother wouldn't mind. You could settle down, have kids, and meet someone like John." She looked at me hopefully, I shrugged and glanced at Dean and after a pause I asked "what's he like?"

Mary's eyes glaze as she answers "I don't know, he's sweet, kind, even after the war, after everything, he still believes in happily ever after you know? He's everything a hunter isn't…no offense." I shook my head as Dean says "none taken." Mary looked giddy as she looked at us, and then at me as she said "can I tell you something?" Dean and I nodded and I said "I'm all ears," she said "he's gonna ask me to marry him, tomorrow I think!" Dean replies "yeah?" Mary answers "oh dad's gonna explode, but I don't care. I'll run away if I have to. I just love John and…" she cut herself off. Dean asked "and what?" Mary looked at him and answered "I want to get out. This job, this life, I hate it. I want a family. I want to be safe. You know the worst thing I can think of? The very worst think is for my children to be raised into this like I was. No, I won't let it happen." I shut my eyes at that. I get so choked up I stare at her while Dean replies "yeah…" I swallow as I gulp and tear my gaze to the ground as I see Dean blink away tears.

Mary asked "hey are you two okay?" I look at Dean who tries to clear his throat and I answer "yeah, we're fine. Um…Mary can I tell you something?" Mary answers "sure." I reply "even if this sounds really weird. Will you promise me you'll remember?" She nods and says "okay," and I noticed Dean was looking at me intently. I could feel him throwing me a look. I reply "on November 2nd 1983 don't get out of bed. No matter what you hear, or what you see. Promise me you won't get out of bed." Dean simply looked at Mary his thoughts finally realizing what I meant. He didn't object as Mary nodded and said "okay."

**###&&&*** ###**

On our way to Colorado it's quiet between Dean and me, both of us lost in thought. When Sam wasn't with us it was mostly like this and the music turned up with us just thinking. Suddenly Dean swerves and I hold onto my seat as I look at Dean who had his eyes fixated at the backseat. I turned my head and spot Castiel sitting in my usual spot. My reaction to him was automatic heart pounding away, fingers trembling, breathing a little off. Dean quips "so what? God's our copilot is that it?" Castiel says nothing. Dean replies "well you're a regular chatty Kathy. What do you only talk to Asia when she's asking questions? Tell me something, Sam would have wanted in on this, why not bring him back?" Castiel answers "you had to do this alone with Anastasia."

Dean asks "and you don't care that he's tearing up the future looking for us right now?" Castiel answers "Sam's not looking for you." Finally gaining courage I ask "if we do this right, the family curse is broken right? Mom and dad live happily ever after, and- and Sam and Dean grow up playing little league?" Castiel turns his gaze from the window to mine. He asks "you realize if you do alter the future your father, you, Dean, and Sam never become hunters. And all those people you saved, they'll die. And all the people you've met, you'll never have known them." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I turned back around.

I would never have met Bobby, Ellen, Ash, Pam. The guys and I wouldn't be close possibly, but I never would've gone to hell, and I wouldn't have met this angel. Dean beside me squeezed my knee and answers "we realize." Castiel asks "and you don't care?" I answer "oh we care, we care a lot, but these are our parents, we're not gonna let them die again. I can't do that." Dean adds "not if we can stop it." I look back but Castiel was gone.

**###&&&*** ###**

I hear a gun cock, and I swiftly turn around. There stood Daniel Elkins. Dean points the colt at him. Daniel says "hold it right there friend, drop the gun and be on your way." I reply "can't do it Daniel." Daniel asks "who the hell are you?" I answer "we're hunters. Just like you." Daniel retorted "thieves more like it." Dean replied "we just need it for a few days." Daniel says "not happening Mister." I reply "look we have a chance to save our families lives, our family. But we need your gun to do it. If you want to stop us go ahead, kill me." I pushed Dean's colt down and we made our way out backing slowly. Dean says "there's some hunters in Lawrence, the Campbell's." Daniel replied "never heard of them." I replied "that's where she'll be."

**###&&&*** ###**

We pull up to Liddy Walsh's home and hear a commotion inside. Dean grabs the colt while I pull out a silver bullet gun. We run inside and I see YED holding Mary in a headlock. I yell "let her go!" Azazel ignores me and asks "where'd you get that gun?" I nod at Mary who elbows Azazel and he escapes just as Dean was gonna make the shot. In sync Dean and I say "damn…"

**###&&&*** ###**

"What else did he say to you?" I questioned Mary. She sighed and answered "I told you, just that he liked me." Her words hit home as she looked up at me and Dean with fear and asked "what did he mean by that?" Samuel joins us as he says "Liddy's a strong kid, she'll be fine." He looks at Mary "are you gonna be okay?" Mary sighs and answers "no dad. I'm pretty far from okay, can we go?" She leaves and Samuel turns to us, for some reason I felt nervous and Samuel says "nice job in there." He praised Dean. Wait…he praised…Dean?

I raised an eyebrow and Dean said "I missed the shot." Samuel replies "take the compliment son. I'm saying I was wrong about you." I narrowed my eyes as he avoided mine, too focused on Dean. Dean looked at Samuel then at Mary and finally me. I raised an eyebrow in question and he gave me a look. I nodded and Dean said "we need to talk alone."

**###&&&*** ###**

My nerves were haywire the more I was pacing. I started wriggling my hands on my lap. Dean looked at Samuel and said "we have to kill this thing now, or Mary dies." Samuel asked "what? How do you know that?" Dean pulled out dad's journal and replies "I just do, okay?" Samuel questioned "when?" Dean answers "we don't know, maybe today, probably years from now, but it's happening trust me." Samuel asked "so what you're some kind of psychic now, too?" I gulped and Dean's eyes dart to mine and Samuel turns to me for the first time today and asks "so it's you…" Dean barks out "no! Alright, listen to me." Dean sits down and explains "now this is gonna sound a little…actually it's gonna sound massively crazy." Samuel simply says "okay," and I narrowed my eyes as I paused my pacing.

I mean maybe he was trying to be calm and collected? Dean says "Mary's our mother." Samuel exclaims "excuse me?" I inserted "we are your grandchildren and we know what the hell we're talking about." Samuel looks on in disbelief and says "you wanna run that by me again?" Dean sighs and looks at me. I shake my head, I didn't trust him. I didn't want to tell him more than necessary. Dean simply looked at Samuel and said "our real names are Dean and Anastasia Winchester. I was January 24th 1979. Asia was born May the 2nd 1983. Our parents are Mary and John Winchester."

Samuel shook his head as he said "I don't have to listen to this." Dean replies "Mary gets killed by the yellow eyed demon in 1983 and I think this is the moment that he caught her scent. Now, if we don't catch this thing no, and kill it and it gets away…then Mary dies. So I'm asking you, please?" I looked at Samuel and Dean says "How did we know about the Colt, huh? How did we know about the yellow eyed demon? Or where it could be? We're not making this up Samuel." Samuel responds "every bone in my body is aching put you six feet under, but there's something about you…I can't shake it. Now I may be crazier than you son, but I believe you." Dean sighs in relief and says "thank you." Samuel nods and says "I mean how we do we find this bastard?" Dean answers "right here the list." Dean opens the journal and Samuel studies Dean. I gulped as I felt uneasy. This was our grandfather, but the way he looked at Dean right now…I swiftly moved in between them as I trained my eye on the journal.

I saw Samuel glance at me but I pretended to be interested with the journal. Samuel asks "and the Colt?" Dean pulls it out and sets it on the table and answers "yeah." Samuel says "let me see it." I frowned and Dean hesitates as he holds it. He looks at me as he questions this. As we look at each other I swiftly look down and avoid eye contact. This was our sign for danger, or no. He moves the Colt away from Samuel and says "sorry…I don't let anybody hold it." Samuel replies "I'm your grandfather." Dean responds "nothing personal." Samuel replies "sure it is, especially when it's me you're trying to kill." His eyes turned yellow and I jumped up as he sent Dean into the wall.

I grab the Colt and aim at him, but he swiftly sent the Colt flying out of my hands and sent me flying against a wall. As I hit it and got back up he sent me flying to the one Dean was at and I hit my head and my vision blurred. "Future kids, huh?" Azazel walks over to Dean and Azazel says "I only know one thing that's got the juice to swing something like that. You must have friends in higher places. So, I kill your mommy? That's why you came all the way here? To see little old me?" Dean retorted "oh, I came here to kill you." I struggle to stand up. When I felt a searing pain in my leg I looked down to see my knee bent in an awkward way. "Hey, wait a minute if that slut Mary's your mommy, are you…are you one of my psychic kids?" He sniffed Dean and says "no, not you. Maybe a brother?" Dean's eyes flashed in anger and Azazel said "maybe a sister?" Dean's eyes darted to me and Azazel looked at me. He walked over as Dean struggled in his chair.

As he walks over I try to kick at him but he grabs my hair and pulls me to my knees as he says "shh, now." He took a long whiff, and said "that's terrific, means it all worked out." He cupped my face as if I was his treasure. I gritted out "go to hell," He shrugged and said "already have." Then he let me drop on my knee and I heard a crunch as I sucked in a breath. Dean looked over at me and I nodded as he gave me a concerned look. Azazel says "after all that's why I'm here." Dean says "so that's what this is about, these deals your making, you don't want these people's souls." Azazel replies "no, I just want their children; I'm here to choose the perfect parents, like your mommy." Dean asked "why her? Why any of them?" Azazel replied "because they're strong." What did he mean?

I turn back to Samuel and Dean as Samuel says "oh, get your mind out of the gutter, no one's breeding with me. Though, Mary? I'd like to make an exception, she's my favorite." I snarled at him as I bit my lip so he wouldn't look at me and on accident see Deana who was walking to the Colt. "So why make the deals?" Dean asked Azazel. Azazel answers "I need permission, I need to be invited into their houses, I know, I know, the-the red tape will drive you nuts, but in ten short years, it'll be worth it. 'Cause you know what I'm gonna do to your sister brother? I'm gonna stand over their crib and I'm gonna bleed into their mouths." I opened my mouth in surprise. Sam and I had demon blood in us? I gulped as I didn't look over at Dean. He would be disgusted with me. He had a reason to be. "Demon blood is better than Oval time vitamins, minerals; it makes you big and strong."

I was shocked and disgusted with myself. Dean asked "for what? So they can lead your discount demon army? Is that your big plan?" Azazel retorted "please, my end game a hell of a lot bigger than that kid." Dean asked "end game? What end game?" I spot Deana in the kitchen heading for the Colt. I shake my head at her. Azazel retorts "like I'm gonna tell you or those angels sitting on your shoulder. No, I'm gonna cover my tracks good." Dean says "you can cover whatever the hell you want, but I'm still gonna kill you." Azazel replies "right, now that I'd like to see." Dean retorts "maybe not today, but you look into my eyes, you son of a bitch, 'cause I'm the one that kills you."

Azazel says "so you're gonna save everybody, is that right, is that it? Well I'm gonna tell you one person you're not gonna save." He takes a knife out "your grand pappy." I struggle to stand. He moves the knife and we Dean, Deana and I yell "no!"

It was too late he stabbed himself. Samuel was dead. I pulled myself up as he headed for Deana. I managed to limp over to him and I stupidly jumped on him as I yelled "Deana run!" I didn't want her to die too. Azazel gripped my hair "you are annoying, but I can't kill you, I need you…so." He pulled and flung me to the floor. I gasped as my back hit the floor. I struggled to stand as Dean was struggling too. I limped to the kitchen and get there just as Azazel leaves and I see Deana dead. Dean joins me a second later. We both looked at Deana, then I turned to Dean "Mary," I breathed.

**###&&&*** ###**

I ran out of the car where I saw Mary kiss Azazel. "No!" Dean and I yelled. I brought the Colt out as I aimed for Azazel but Azazel flees Samuel's body. Despair fills me as I fall to the ground in defeat. As I look at Mary a hand landed on my shoulder and I looked up to see a pair of blue eyes.

**###&&&*** ###**

I woke up gasping for air as I sat up. I looked over at Dean who was in the same state. Castiel stood at the foot of my bed peering at me. I didn't register the feeling he always had on me because at the moment all I felt was numbness. I softly said "we couldn't stop it, she still made the deal, and she still died in the nursery didn't she?" Castiel looked at me and said "don't be so hard on yourself, you couldn't have stopped it." My head snapped up as I furrowed my eyebrows and Dean asked "what?" Castiel answered "destiny can't be changed, Dean. All roads lead to the same destination." I asked "then why'd you send us back?" Castiel answers "for the truth. Now you know everything, we do." Dean asked "what are you talking about?" Castiel replies "you know what your brother did to Anastasia and your brother. What we don't know is why, what his end game is. He went to great lengths to cover that up."

So it was true, I had demon blood in me. I looked down at myself, staring at my hands, Dean and I never got the chance to talk about it, and I wanted to avoid that as much as possible. Yellow eyes killed Samuel, and Deana, our grandparents and then our mom. I bit my lip as I asked "where's Sam?" I stood up and Castiel answered "425 Waterman."

Dean stood up and I grabbed my leather jacket, as I slipped on my boots and Dean opened the door as he walked out. I went to the door half limping, Dean had popped my knee back in place already and I grabbed the door knob as I turned it Castiel said "Asia," I looked back at him shocked he used my nickname, he looked me in the eyes sending a violent shiver down my spine as he said "your brother is headed down a dangerous road, Anastasia and we're not sure where it leads. So stop him, or we will."

{AN: There it is. Sorry for the wait. I have school now, so updates will be slower. I also have to update my other stories. I hope you guys like it!}


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